Rule #1 of strap line writing: if caught between two deliciously witty puns, just pick one. Don't be a hero and try to squeeze in both - you'll end up eating into the art development time, and the intern will have to do all the Photoshopping in his lunch break. Which usually results in wretched, faintly baffling scribbleturds like this one.
Dixie Changing Habits
There's no way we're watching it to find out, but we assume the story goes something like: "Rich poser one day goes mental and steals a tiny roadsign. A nun tries to lead her back to virtue, but ends up becoming corrupted herself, and the resulting crime spree culminates in grand theft tractor. Think Thelma And Louise meets...well, a chronic lack of funding for a profoundly toss idea."
Don't Open The Door
Hooray For Howie Would
Hooray indeed. His story of triumph over adversity must be a huge inspiration to all people born with chopsticks for legs.
The Fourth War
The Fourth War is often omitted from history books, largely beacause it took place between two blokes in a pond. In fact, it was more or a scrap than anything. A freelance field commander turned up at one point hoping to score himself a bit of extra work, but it was all over bar the shouting within about eight or nine minutes, and neither side really bothered with tactics as such. It is commonly referred to as The Rubbish War.
Full Metal Ninja
"Alright then, half metal. Still not buying it, eh? Um...a quarter then? Ok, well his sword is definitely metal. Apart from the handle, I think that would probably have been ivory - I dunno, in all honesty I didn't do that much design research on this one. Look, just gimme my cheque and I'll piss off, yeah?"
Dance With Death
Common Photoshop Disasters #581: The missing limb. And no, trying to pretend it's just because your cover star is humping a giant gun doesn't really cut it. Step back a bit and look again. If you're at all worried it might be stupid, it almost certainly is. Actually, if you're at all worried it might be stupid, you're probably not an '80s video sleeve designer.
Murder By Natural Causes
If there was a single gun-shaped piece in a whole otherwise regular-shaped jigsaw, what brand of moron wouldn't use it as the starting point? Plus another honourable mention here for services to genuinely atrocious titles. Half Past Dead, while not exactly threatened, is certainly glancing over one shoulder.
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