Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is under fire for suggesting – as a joke (stolen from Viz) – that lorry-drivers are prostitute-murdering freaks. We tested his theory on a few movie truckers…


 
Rubber Duck (Kris Kristofferson)
Convoy (1978)
RD becomes a folk hero by not shaving and leading a protest line of CB-jabbering lorry-lovers against a corrupt sheriff.
Prostitute-murdering freak? Seems fine, although cutesy name might conceal murderous nature.


 
Warren ‘Red’ Barr (JT Walsh)
Breakdown (1997)
To a stranded Kurt Russell, Red and his buddies seem like decent good ol’ Yorkie-chompin’ boys. But then they go and kidnap his missus…
Prostitute-murdering freak? Clearly homicidal, public expectoration, female kidnap… Strong potential.
 


Philo Beddoe (Clint Eastwood)
Every Which Way But Loose (1978)
Fist-fightin’ Philo must crank that oversized steering-wheel like crazy to stay one chug ahead of loony bikers and traffic cops.
Prostitute-murdering freak? Anger issues, alcohol abuse, only friend an orangutan…
 


The Driver
Duel (1971)
Stressed executive Dennis Weaver is inexplicably hounded by a faceless horn-fiend in an 18-wheeler.
Prostitute-murdering freak? Just has a thing for sweaty moustaches.



Rusty Nail (Matthew Kimbrough)
Joy Ride (2001)
After being prank-called (broadcasted? hailed?) on his radio by two young punks, cab-cabbage Rusty chases them down, like in Duel.
Prostitute-murdering freak? He’s unseen – like in Duel – and only up for murdering because he didn’t get some promised sex. So – probably.
 


Mack (John Ratzenberger – voice)
Cars (2006)
Big lug of a transporter-truck that chauffers smuggo race-champ Lightning McQueen.
Prostitute-murdering freak? Too constantly cheerful for our liking - which always adds up to compressed rage.
 


The Creeper (Jonathan Breck)
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Heroes antagonise an 18-wheeler driver – like in Duel. Driver chases them angrily – like in Duel. Not particularly Spielbergian twist? The driver is actually a flesh-eating predator demon-beast!
Prostitute-murdering freak? Bad behaviour excused by being monster.
 


Bo ‘Bandit’ Darville (Burt Reynolds)
Smokey And The Bandit (1977)
If only jovial Bo could haul a HGV full of Coors from Texas to Georgia in 28 hours and pick up his reward of $80,000 while looking like a porn-star…
Prostitute-murdering freak? Leaves the hard work to his mate and distracts the rozzers by poncing about in a Pontiac. Untrustworthy but not necessarily a killer of sex workers.


 
Peter Sutcliffe (Craig Cheetham)
This Is Personal: The Hunt For The Yorkshire Ripper (2000, TV)
Dramatisation of the life and crimes of notorious hammer-wielding juggernaut jockey.
Prostitute-murdering freak? Well, yeah…