Battle Royale: Coens Brothers' Characters

Eight cool kerfuffles from the kings of kook...

The Coen Brothers' A Serious Man hits cinemas today.

So we've decided it's time for some of the Coens' coolest characters to start hitting each other. Seriously.

So, roll up, roll up for one of the quirkiest royal rumbles we've ever put together.

From bikers to bowlers, lawyers to barbers, gangsters to killers every man and woman and Chigurh is ready to... FIGHT!

H.I. “Hi” McDunnough (Nic Cage) – Raising Arizona (1987)

Hi means well.  He just can’t make ends meeting without… bending the rules a little.

He certainly doesn’t mind doing time now and then. But it cuts to the core that his record means he and his wife Edwina can’t adopt the child they crave.

So it’s only natural that old habits die hard and, see, he might as well just help hisself....

Model parent-to-be: 5

Law-abiding citizen: 5

Crazy hair: 10

Receives a lesson in mother love from...

Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) – Fargo (1996)

Marge is a sunny-hearted soul.  A real-people person, the greatest happiness she knows is when husband Norm’s painting skills get recognised and rewarded.

And she’s eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first child, which is swell.

It’s just a shame that – as Brainerd Chief of Police – she has to come into contact with the shadier sides of humanity.  Often, she just don’t understand how some folk can do such bad things in the world.

Model parent-to-be: 10

Law-abiding citizen: 10

Crazy hair: 5

Let battle commence...

Hi is baby-hunting in Minnesota and breaks into Marge’s nursery.  Empty – damn.

Marge bursts in, heavily pregnant and sees Hi.  She gawps at him in disbelief.

Hi panics and starts throwing stuffed toys at her, which bounce harmlessly off her belly.

She waddles towards him and he’s caught in an ethical dilemma.  He can’t really hit a pregnant lady.  Not when kids are so precious ‘n’ all.

A gust of icy wind blows into the room.  Hi turns, chilled – his Hawaiian shirt isn’t the best thing for this climate.

While he’s distracted, Marge bumps into him and he topples out of the window, head-first into the snow outside.  She sits down for a breather: she can go and arrest him once she’s tidied the toys back up.

Next: Ulysses Everett McGill vs. Ed Crane

Leave a comment

Most Popular

  • News

    1. Reviews

      1. Features

        1. Video

          Close

          Log In to Total Film

          Forgotten your password?

          Close

          Join Total Film

          Registration is quick and easy

          Hint: Steven Spielberg directed this film about a Dinosaur-filled island attraction

          As you are registering with Total Film, we would like to think that you'd enjoy receiving the following emails. If you'd rather not receive them, please untick the boxes:

          * Mandatory fields