Jesus Quintana (John Turturro) – The Big Lebowski (1998)

Jesus stands out. Amongst the grungy casualwear and check shirts of his fellow bowlers, the Quintana look is stylish and startling: dressed top-to-toe in purple Lycra, ponytail swept back under a hairnet.

And when he bowls, he moves with such feline grace he must surely be the master of the lanes. However... he’s also a pervert.

Unrepentant about his sins, his in-your-face attitude courts controversy in order to ward off potential vigilante attack

Fashionista: 10

Unfuckwithability: 10

Actual unfuckwithability: we’re guessing 4

Is about to get fucked with by...

Leonard Smalls aka the Biker of the Apocalypse (Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb) – Raising Arizona (1987)

Nobody knows where Smalls came from.  He just rode out of a desert on his bike with the look of a man who means business.

A manhunter by trade, his cat-like senses, fearsome arsenal and unerring accuracy can destroy his prey regardless of size and distance.

And don’t go crying for mercy – even ickle bunny wabbits can’t escape his wrath.

But by God he needs a makeover.

Fashionista: 0

Unfuckwithability: 10

Actual unfuckwithability: 10

Let battle commence...

Bowling night.  Smalls crashes through the entrance on his bike, a shotgun wielded in each hand, and zooms towards his target: Quintana.

Jesus throws a well-aimed bowling ball and knocks one gun away.  The other fires and singes Jesus’ ponytail... but Smalls is unbalanced and falls from the bike.

Jesus runs, slipping, up the lane, trying to grab the pins to use as weapons. 

But Smalls, now at the top of the lane, produces a grenade.  He pulls the pin and, with surprising elegance, bowls a perfect line. 

As Jesus reaches the pins, so does the grenade – KA-BOOM!

Mark it a strike.

Any Coen's characters you'd like to see go toe-to-toe? Let us know!