Battle Royale: Movie Runners

Joggers vs. sprinters in this fast-paced face-off


Ewan McGregor, Trainspotting (1996)



Everyone else on this list might have less dubious reasons for ‘doing one’ - and we’re not condoning Renton’s shoplifting by including him - but crikey, the lad can shift. And in Converse All-Star, too: those Glaswegian pavements are as hard as the rest of the city, y’know.

Speed: Heroin actually, but still, 8

Power: We can almost feel the burn from here, 10

Manliness: On the wrong end of the chase, 5


Eating dust...


Corey Feldman, Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004)



(skip to 8:05)

Feldman, playing some sort of scientist dressed as his own father, fails to outrun a ten-inch-tall plastic doll despite the 20-yard head start. Blame the excess corduroy if you will, but there’s still no excuse for his truly pitiful corridor shuffle. Except maybe acute diarrhoea.

Speed: Workplace Health & Safety compliant, 3

Power: Flap-flap-flap-flap, 2

Manliness: Frightened of doll, caught by doll, 1

Next: Franka Potente vs Ian Charleson

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Comments

    • timisstupid

      Jun 11th 2009, 7:04

      what about Daniel Craig's foot chases in both Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace?

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    • MMR74

      Jun 11th 2009, 17:19

      umm, think he was running on those soft east-coast pavement of Edinburgh actually (apologies for the west-coast bias).

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