GRUDGE MATCH:
Tom Cruise, pretty much anything
Wow, who’d have thunk it? Deceptively explosive horsepower in a compact and bijou frame, which gives him superb handling on tight bends and is, quite literally, a fanny magnet. Shame about the Thetans in the glove box, but hey.
Speed: Tom Cruise runs like he’s late for Dianetics practice, 10
Power: Tom Cruise runs like he’s powering Freewinds with a treadmill, 9
Manliness: TOM CRUISE RUNS LIKE A MAN, 10
Makes slug-meat of...
Steven Seagal, pretty much anything
Sweet Jesus, the horror. Like, what exactly is going on here, Stevey boy? You look like your legs are on backwards. You’d have a better chance of catching criminals by running in front of them, then striking when they’re paralysed with mirth.
Speed: Steven Seagal runs like ET in stilettos.
Power: Steven Seagal runs like he’s carrying ALL the shopping.
Manliness: STEVEN SEAGAL RUNS LIKE A GIRL.
Like This? Then try...
- Battle Royale: Movie Robots Vs. TV Robots
- Battle Royale: Movie Serial Killers
- Battle Royale: Bad Movie Hair
Sign up for our free weekly newsletter for the latest news, features and reviews delivered straight to your inbox.
Comments
timisstupid
Jun 11th 2009, 7:04
what about Daniel Craig's foot chases in both Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace?
Alert a moderator
MMR74
Jun 11th 2009, 17:19
umm, think he was running on those soft east-coast pavement of Edinburgh actually (apologies for the west-coast bias).
Alert a moderator