It's the fight fang-fans have been waiting for, a pale and pointy presentation of brooding, blood and Bayhem, a cinematic suck-head Surivivor Series, pitting The Twilight Saga's Edward Cullen against all comers.
So sit tight, hang on to your hats, and get ready for a Battle so bloody it'll make Hostel: Part 2 look like Hostel: Part 1.
Ready? Let battle commence...
Lestat (Tom Cruise) Interview with The Vampire (1994)
The protagonist for much of Anne Rice's beloved Vampire chronicles, Lestat de Lioncourt has appeared twice on film, played by Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire, and Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned.
We've chosen the cruise version, because at 5'5, he was a good 7 inches shorter than the character as Rice wrote him, but bless him, he had a go anyway.
Wait, this film has Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt? Factor: 10
Ability to disappoint massively: 10
Fang Rating: 8
Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) Twilight (2008)
When he was originally cast as the eternal 17 year-old Edward in Twilight, the internets went crazy with hate. It didn't last long.
Practically a one-man industry, he's the hottest hearthrob in Hollywood, and has gone from Harry Potter bit-player to househild name practically overnight.
Sulton of Swoon Factor: 10
Ability to make you fall ridiculously, embarrassingly in love with him (giggle): 10
Fang Rating: 10
Let battle commence...
Trying to seduce R-Pattz… oops… we mean Cullen into being his bitch for eternity, Lestat doesn’t reckon the power of his opponents’ broody gaze.
Overcome with feelings of sorrow, pain and lust, Lestat attempts to take his own life rather than suffer life without the boy any longer.
Slitting his wrists only produces blood momentarily, before the wound heals itself over.
Cullen stands watching, in the broody, swoon-inducing kind of way.
Lestat then impales himself on several large swords, and shoot himself 6 times in the face. This also fails to kill him.
In the end, a dousing of petrol and a large helping of self-immolation seem to do the trick, and Lestat is vanquished.
Cullen sighs, bored.
Edward Cullen wins!
Edward Cullen 1 – Vampires 0
Next: David vs. Edward