David (Keifer Sutherland) The Lost Boys (1987)
David is the Marlon Brando of movie vampires, cool, dangerous, and with a totally rad motorcycle.
In the original script the Lost Boys were supposed to be kids, but thankfully director Joel Schumacher recognised the power of sex appeal and made everyone lusty, horny teenagers instead. You can almost forgive Batman & Robin. Almost.
Jack Bauer Factor: 10
Abiltiy to make you forget that Jason Patric guy: 10
Fang Rating: 9
vs.
Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) Twilight (2008)
Fun fact: Edward Cullen was born June 20th 1901. He was turned by adoptive father Carlisle in 1918 to stop him dying of spanish Influenza.
Let battle commence...
Trying to seduce Cullen into being his bitch for eternity – a rather common theme among vampires it seems – David offers up Vamp-bait and all around hottie Star to try and persuade Cullen to join him.
She instantly falls in love with the pale, tall-of-hair, golden-eyed hunk, and renounces David and his whole agenda.
Deciding to up his game, David goes after Edward on his motorcycle, charging him down using a flag pole like a jousting pole.
Super fast Edward doesn’t bugger about though, and zips out of the sending David careening into a tree, and sending him flying from his bike.
A groan later, and David emerges from the bushes impaled on the antlers of a very large deer, which promptly turns around and legs it.
Cullen takes Star by the hand and they go for a lovely walk in the forest.
Edward Cullen wins!
Edward Cullen 2 – Vampires 0
Next: Blade vs. Edward
Comments
parker
Oct 6th 2009, 9:24
what, no kurt barlow from salem's lot (1979)
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minorityreport
Oct 6th 2009, 10:57
For shame, TF - no Near Dark vampires? They'd soon put Edward in his place - and by in his place, I mean flat on his back with Severen's spur slicing his jugular open. That's how you deal with these emo b***hes.
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Impulse
Oct 6th 2009, 18:06
Just let Angelus loose on the wee freak and we can put an end to all this twilight nonsense.
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bentgaga
Oct 7th 2009, 2:35
spike and drusilla tag team effort
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KerrAvon
Oct 10th 2009, 0:27
This is bull the count would have ripped that 2 dimensional sap apart n seconds. I am the count and I love to make sexy time with Bella. One time with Bella, ah, ah, ah, two...and so on
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mallach
Oct 10th 2009, 11:47
since when did 12 year old girls start writing articles for Total Film. is a merger with heat on the cards?
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Louise
Oct 11th 2009, 16:41
This is all wrong, i woundn't know where to start
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firas76
Dec 4th 2009, 22:29
this must be totally wrong Edward can beat non of the mentioned right!!!
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Stratburst
Dec 9th 2009, 17:19
Here's how the Dracula-Edward showdown would actually play out: Dracula glides in, towering over the diminutive Edward. intimidated by the 6'5" Transylvanian warlord, starts to cry. Dracula sneers, "You are no vampire, girly-man!" before bisecting Edward's head with a two-handed broadsword and impaling him on an 8' pike. Bella then joins Dracula and his wives in a 5-way orgy while Edward – his head split open and impaled on a pike – composes bad Gothic poetry about how abstinence is wonderful and life really sucks. Edward = 0, Dracula = 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . .
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sara100
May 10th 2010, 3:11
i think that Edward collins/Robert patterson should play in almost every movie like twillight because he is so cool! I dont care what yaw say about Edward/Robert but i know who he is and he is VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL!!!!! Think about it PEOPLE!!!!!? :(
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BlueOh
Jun 17th 2011, 13:20
Just no.
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