Marlow (Danny Huston) 30 Days of Night (2006)
Based on the comic book mini-series of the same name by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, 30 Days of Night features a radical vision of the vampire as completely predetorial and un-romantic.
Speaking in an ancient gutteral language, they kill for sport, led by the nefarious and sinister Marlowe, who's cruelty is only matched by his abiltiy to chew the shit out of the scenery.
We like our vampires broody Factor: 10
Why did it take them so long to go to Alaska Factor: 9
Fang Rating: 9
vs.
Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) Twilight (2008)
Fun fact: Like totalfilm.com, Edward never sleeps.
Let battle commence...
For various reasons there is little point explaining, Edward Cullen has found himself in Alaska during the period of darkness which envelopes the barren landscape each year.
Coming across the nefarious Marlow and his band of murderous fang-fiends, Edward is taken by surprise as he is attacked for his human-loving politics.
Marlowe leads the fray, punching Cullen repeatedly. Cullen just smiles back.
“What are you smiling about?” demands Marlowe. As he holds the boy up for another beating, a pack of very large Polar Bears charge Marlowe, tearing him to shreds.
In the wake of the attack, Marlowe’s gang bugger off, realising there is little point fighting creatures who have obviously fallen deeply in love with the sullen, handsome vampire.
Edward Cullen wins!
Edward Cullen 4 – Vampires 0
Next: Maximillian vs. Edward
Comments
parker
Oct 6th 2009, 9:24
what, no kurt barlow from salem's lot (1979)
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minorityreport
Oct 6th 2009, 10:57
For shame, TF - no Near Dark vampires? They'd soon put Edward in his place - and by in his place, I mean flat on his back with Severen's spur slicing his jugular open. That's how you deal with these emo b***hes.
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Impulse
Oct 6th 2009, 18:06
Just let Angelus loose on the wee freak and we can put an end to all this twilight nonsense.
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bentgaga
Oct 7th 2009, 2:35
spike and drusilla tag team effort
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KerrAvon
Oct 10th 2009, 0:27
This is bull the count would have ripped that 2 dimensional sap apart n seconds. I am the count and I love to make sexy time with Bella. One time with Bella, ah, ah, ah, two...and so on
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mallach
Oct 10th 2009, 11:47
since when did 12 year old girls start writing articles for Total Film. is a merger with heat on the cards?
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Louise
Oct 11th 2009, 16:41
This is all wrong, i woundn't know where to start
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firas76
Dec 4th 2009, 22:29
this must be totally wrong Edward can beat non of the mentioned right!!!
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Stratburst
Dec 9th 2009, 17:19
Here's how the Dracula-Edward showdown would actually play out: Dracula glides in, towering over the diminutive Edward. intimidated by the 6'5" Transylvanian warlord, starts to cry. Dracula sneers, "You are no vampire, girly-man!" before bisecting Edward's head with a two-handed broadsword and impaling him on an 8' pike. Bella then joins Dracula and his wives in a 5-way orgy while Edward – his head split open and impaled on a pike – composes bad Gothic poetry about how abstinence is wonderful and life really sucks. Edward = 0, Dracula = 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . .
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sara100
May 10th 2010, 3:11
i think that Edward collins/Robert patterson should play in almost every movie like twillight because he is so cool! I dont care what yaw say about Edward/Robert but i know who he is and he is VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL!!!!! Think about it PEOPLE!!!!!? :(
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BlueOh
Jun 17th 2011, 13:20
Just no.
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