Maximillian (Eddie Murphy) Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)
Playing against type and good advice, Murphy stars as the titular vamp, a bloodsucker of Caribbean descent who travels to Brooklyn in search of Angela Bassett.
About as much fun a Beverly Hill Cop III, this was one of several films in the mid-90s that Murphys is likely to want to forget, and unfortunately, we never will.
Bad Accent Factor: 10
Damn Angela Bassett is smokin' ability: 10
Fang Rating: 8
Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) Twilight (2008)
Fun fact: In the books, Edward is described as being inhumanly beautiful. We get that a lot too.
Let battle commence...
Maximillian taunts Cullen in his ‘what-the-buggary’ accent.
“Come pretty boy, let’s see if you fight as well as you brood”
“You know, you used to be funny.” Retorts the chiseled features of the sickeningly handsome teen vampire.
“What do you mean ‘used’,” grimaces Max, “I’m still funny.”
“No, not really. Coming to America was funny. Trading Places was funny. Vampire in Brooklyn? Can you spell turkey?” smirks.
“I’ll show you who’s still funny.” Max throws off his cloak, and grab a microphone from somewhere.
He throws himself head first into a stand-up routine, which, to be fair, amuses his younger foe.
“Not bad” concedes Cullen, which spurs Maximillian to up his game. He begins to rant and rave at a furious pace, tossing punchlines out like bullets, he has Cullen in hysterics.
He’s so preoccupied telling jokes however, that he doesn’t realise the sun is rising. In seconds Maximillian is a bright ball of flame, before turning quickly to ashes.
“Guess the only thing you’re going to biting anytime soon is the dust.” Says Cullen, cooler than a Siberian freezer, before walking off to watch Bella sleep.
Edward Cullen wins!
Edward Cullen 5 – Vampires 0
Next: Graf Orlok vs. Edward