This Friday sees the release of Nick Love's reimagining of The Firm, the 1988 TV movie about violent football organisations starring an electric Gary Oldman.
Whether the film is a good idea or not remains to be seen (we really enjoyed it), but what we can do is take a look at the competition in the form of the best and worst football movies, and put a bit of context on the situation for you.
As far as football films go, we've included both sports films, documentaries and hooligan films, as for what we consider the best and the worst, well read on and find out...
Danny Dyer Football Movies
The Football Factory (2004)
Why It Rocks: As far as Mr. Dyer goes, it doesn’t get more meat and potatoes than this 2004 Nick Love collaboration, one which cemented his large London persona firmly in the conscious of the great cinema-going public.
Love him or hate him, it’s hard to deny a smile during the opening voice-over, when his so-Cockney-it-hurts character Tommy Johnson utters the line; “…and occasionally kicking fuck out of someone.” Lavin’ it-ah!
Mean Machine (2001)
Why It Sucks: Don’t get us wrong, there is plenty to enjoy about this Vinnie Jones vehicle, itself a remake of Robert Aldrich’s Burt Reynolds vehicle The Longest Yard, it’s just that Dyer doesn’t really put in a classic ‘Double D’ performance.
Cast as Billy The Limpet, DD is all limbs, he’s got the co-ordination of ballet dancing buffalo – where’s the swagger my son? Where’s the masticated vowels and double Dutch rhyming slang? He’s just not the same man…
Comments
madspots
Sep 16th 2009, 11:13
Mike Bassett England Manager?
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Rachie
Sep 16th 2009, 12:11
I love She's The Man!
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sjsmith88
Sep 16th 2009, 12:44
I think the fact that there are 2 sections for Violent Football Films is a sign that the industry is paying too much attention to hooliganism. Yes, more often than not they try to make it as unappealing as possible to the audience but there's always idiots who watch only the violence and love every minute of it and so go out to re-enact it themselves. On a lighter note, I'm delighted that When Saturday Comes got loved! As a Sheffield United fan, there is no better football film.
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Timmsie
Sep 16th 2009, 13:30
A Shot At Glory!!! Robert Duvall, Michael Keatona nd Ally McCoist. What a dream team!
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SCQ47
Sep 16th 2009, 15:38
Wait. Hang on. Millions of Americans DO love soccer. We call them Mexicans.
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AYBGerrardo
Sep 16th 2009, 17:04
Best and Worst Football art film? Best would be Zidane, and worst would be C. Ronaldo, should it ever be made...
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durden
Sep 16th 2009, 17:05
you either don't know your movies or you don't know your football.Green street is a good movie!It's not a great one because of that whole "Americans are still the best no matter what they do,where they do it" thing,which sucks.But apart from that it's kick a*s!!
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hughjass1970
Sep 16th 2009, 21:11
WTF are you talking about, total Film?! Escape to Victory is a truly great feel good football movie. The very first DVD I bought was the Region 1 DVD version (monikered Victory). And Ladybugs is truly awful - never found Rodney Dangerfield funny post-Caddyshack.
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RaveyDaveyGravy
Sep 18th 2009, 17:03
What about 'There's only 1 Jimmy Grimble'? Great Film
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namedropper
Sep 19th 2009, 0:51
I have to admit that whenever Escape to Victory is on I moan "oh ffs" but five minutes later I'm hooked. Who can resist John Wark with his legendary "Let's do it!" speech to rival The Gipper or Henry V. Admittedly that's the only two words he says in the whole movie. Anyway it's a cracker. Don't take it seriously! It's great.
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fabio
Sep 21st 2009, 16:09
You do realise that the goal in Goal was actually a real goal. By Laurent Robert.
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Faers
Sep 22nd 2009, 2:19
How can you say Mean Machine sucks? Just because Dyer doesn't put in a classic performance? I mean, when has he really? I would go as far as saying this is DD's best and most likeable performance, infact, it's about the only performance he has given without coming across like a Millwall season ticket holder visiting Upton Park... Also, The Football Factory is c**p! It's just helped by the fact Green Street makes every other footie flick look like The Deer Hunter!
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p1gion
Sep 29th 2009, 23:34
gregory's girl anyone?
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Movies247
Oct 10th 2009, 14:05
Goal and Goal 2 are both pretty good but Goal 3 what a sell out has nothing to do with first two apart from main guy from one and two braking his arm???? Dammed united anyone the remake of the firm
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