The humble horror movie, the staple of first time film-makers, first dates and late night cable everwhere.
The latest in our regular series of how-to guides for the aspiring hack, this is the indespenible list you'll need to make a horror movie for half a crown and your last Rolo, then take Cannes by storm next year.
Lesson One...
What Budget?
The Cliché: Most horror directors bang on about a budget so small they couldn’t even afford shoestrings.
The missive in the genre seems to be that the bigger the budget for a horror, the worse the resulting film… so go cheap.
Appears In: The Blair Witch Project (1998)
How To Recreate It: A decent gambling addiction should do the trick, just piss your money away by spending an unhealthy amount of time on poker websites.
Any money you don’t use for poker, feel free to inhale via the latest designer drug, keep a steady stream of hookers on retainer or drink til you vomit blood.
If you still have some money left, get married, that should take care of it.
Once you’re left penniless, it’s time to get creative and start making your film.
Beg, borrow and steall, but don’t pay for anything. Hopefully you saved some of that vomit blood. That'll come in handy.
Comments
CatSchrodinger
Sep 3rd 2009, 17:39
'beg, borrow and still' - as in, like, a moonshining still? C'mon TF!
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dgoodswen
Sep 4th 2009, 10:09
thanks for pointing that out... guess we should have stayed in school instead of that whole Thai circus thing...
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callumoakabywright
Sep 7th 2009, 21:27
shouldnt you mention the soundtrack? a lot of horror films are only scary because of the subtle background theme music, maybe you should add that
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