Virginal Hero
The Cliché: The only person who can defeat the big bad is the one who hasn’t been engaging in casual sex, drinking or drug use.
Appears In: Halloween (1978)
How To Recreate It: Tough one this, virgins are hard to find these days.
Your best bet will be to take a bookish, slightly minging, religious type who embraces chastity because they can’t get any, and give them a makeover.
Once your virgin is slightly attractive and therefore camera ready, they will most likely now want to have sex, due to actually being noticed by the opposite sex.
Disuade them with large doses of religious propaganda, pictures of STI riddled genitalia, threats of a Russell Brand visit, and that Gareth Gates sex tape that’s doing the rounds.
Once filming is over, leave your star to her failed acting career, which will ultimately culminate in massive amounts of desperate, unprotected sex, a meth addiction and an untimely death from a cocktail of sexually transmitted diseases. That's showbiz!
Comments
CatSchrodinger
Sep 3rd 2009, 17:39
'beg, borrow and still' - as in, like, a moonshining still? C'mon TF!
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dgoodswen
Sep 4th 2009, 10:09
thanks for pointing that out... guess we should have stayed in school instead of that whole Thai circus thing...
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callumoakabywright
Sep 7th 2009, 21:27
shouldnt you mention the soundtrack? a lot of horror films are only scary because of the subtle background theme music, maybe you should add that
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