“I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more.”

Step five: Training

In the film: Fresh from the office, white-collar types eagerly remove their shirts, shoes and belts and jump into the ‘ring’ without so much as a few stretches or a lap around the block.

In real life: Boxing is hard work, it’s one of the only sports that combines anaerobic and aerobic exercise, which means if you’re going to take part, you’ve got to train.

It doesn’t matter how fit you think you are, or how much training you’ve done before, Boxing is a wholly different beast. Total Film was learning this the hard way.

After a few minutes of circuit training, our muscles were screaming, sweat was pouring off and breath was in short supply. We felt sick and light-headed, but we weren’t about to be shown up by a group of city boys.

No, we were about to be shown up by a girl, a 5’1 dynamo who was sharing our bag and attacked the training session with boundless energy and a solid one-two combo.

We tried to force a smile through our grimace as Spencer told us to man up.

Forget what you saw in the movies, Fight Club is no casual undertaking, no drop-in centre for the soul-searching city boy – it’s serious business.

Next: Learn to fight