If Movie Characters Hosted The Oscars...

We're sick of the celebs. Time for this lot to have a go...

By Josh WinningFeb 26th 2010
1

Benjamin Button

Positives: He's just plain adorable. Like a 12-rated version of the crypt keeper.

Negatives: Fragile as an ice sulpture in the Bahamas. Would probably need his nappy changing halfway through. That, or he'll succumb to an old man nap...

Opening monologue: “Ah, ah wanna thank ma mama for all huh love and support over tha years. It’s noh allaways been easeh...” [producer runs on stage, whispers in Button’s ear] “Wha? I don’ hear so good in tha one. Ahm noh gettin’ an award? Ahm just PRESENTIN’?" [Button screams bloody murder, throws himself out of his wheelchair and has a massive tantrum on the stage]
 

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    • Toursiveu

      Feb 28th 2010, 0:37

      Well Frank Drebin actually hosted the Oscars, disguised as Phil Donahue. He presented the Best Actress Award with Raquel Welch. Then he threw up on a tuba. Frank Drebin: Uh, Raquel, just a second, I just had a thought. This show is being seen all over the world. I was thinking, if we could all just send good thoughts, transmit them through these cameras here, to the elected leader of China, Wing Wa Woo Tong, so that they might finally be nice. Thank you. [applause] Raquel Welch: And the winner is... Frank Drebin: Uh Raquel, so many go to bed hungry in this nation, yet cat food is full of tuna! I can't help but think each time I go to the zoo and see those porpoises, crammed into those tiny tanks, what a waste that is. Butcher half of them now! That's hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat that can be fed to our cats, freeing up that tuna for our nation's hungry. [few people clap] Raquel Welch: And the winner is... Frank Drebin: Uh, so many are cold, shivering in the night, so I say, butcher those cats, skin them! Use their fur to keep hundreds warm!

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