If Star Wars Was Real
The Force exists. Now, how about Wookiees and more...
BY Jul 2nd 2009 15:15PMFILED UNDER: Features
User Comments (2)
Wampa
In Star Wars: Huge, shaggy and hungry snow-beast, a resident of the planet Hoth who tangles with Luke Skywalker and ends up on the wrong end of his lightsaber.
When, frankly, all he was doing was looking for a handy meal – and Luke was already out later than he should have been. It wasn’t the Wampa’s fault!
In Real Life: For years, crypto zoologists have speculated on the origins of Bigfoot.
One dark night, the truth is revealed: it’s a Wampa! His name is Gerald and it turns out he’s mostly doing it to scare tourists and make some money.
Unfortunately, he ends up captured and sold to a circus, where he’s treated as just another act.
That is, until he goes bug nuts insane, roars something that translates to “you’ve all been so kind” and mauls 15 people in the audience.
Next: Galactic Senate
Print Comments (2)
1: Liamario says
Could this possibly be the worst article ever?
Posted: Jul 2nd 2009 // 5:50PMAlert a moderator
2: jollieoldtime says
Hahaha!!!!!!
My favorite is the X-Wing in real life. Although a lightsaber would be pretty baller.
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