Fashion is your passion. How powerful can clothes be?

Let me give you some facts – not one single world war has EVER been started by a model (although Naomi has come close). If zere had been a Berlin Fashion Week in 1939, would WW2 have happened?

Ich don’t think so. Designers should be running ze vorld – did you know zat not one single suicide bomber has blown zemselves up vearing Marc Jacobs (three have vearing Vera Wang – zat’s understandable).

People should think abaus zat. You’ve talked about the glory of club music and its affect on the fall of Apartheid.

Have you ever thought about opening a disco out in Iraq? Or Burma? And don’t you find club music a bit repetitive?

Ich am currently doing a lot to help ze needy people in ze vorld – each year in Austria, on St Adolph’s Day, my programme Funkyzeit pays for 100 homeless people to have zeir teeth whitened und ve’re currently raising money to send Sammy Kassali, ze stylist of Ze Pussycat Dolls, to Darfur to give one lucky girl a super-sexy makeover.

No big deal, vassever. Ich vould love to open a club in Iraq, or any other country in ze Middle-earth – it’s mein background. I used to work at ze coolest club in Vienna – zat’s right, Klub Apartheid.

For ze first six months I vas one of the urinals then I vas promoted to doorman. Ich used to have ze most discriminatory door policy ever – on average, only 0.03 per cent of people in ze line would get in.

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