We love both films and football here at totalfilm.com

But, if we were, like, stranded on a desert island or something and could only take one or the other, would we choose football or films?

There's only one way to find out... Unfairly comparing football moments with film moments and delivering a snap, generalised conclusion about which is the bestest thing...

1. The bit in Marley & Me when the dog nearly escapes from the car VS. Paul Gascoigne's goal against Scotland at Euro '96.

The film: On the way to the vet to get Marley snipped, Owen Wilson opens the car window so the dog can "get a little air".

But Marley wriggles out and Wilson has to hold him by the arse as he trots alongside the car on his front legs for a bit.

The football: The mighty Gazza - peerless and imperious in his bleach-blond pomp - dinks a lofted pass over the orange head of Colin Hendry, putting the bandage-skinned defender on his flabby arse.

He then takes the ball first-time on the volley, drilling it past the keeper, before collapsing sprawled and open-mouthed on the ground as his teammates splash water into his gaping, hysterical gob.

The winner: Football. Gazza's goal is an inspired and inspirational moment of breathtaking mercurial genius, while the bit from Marley & Me is just a dog walking outside a car.