5. The rollercoaster-accident scene in Final Destination 3 VS. Newcastle manager Kevin Keegan saying he would love it - love it! - if Newcastle beat rivals Man Utd to the 1996 Premiership title.

The film: During a ride, the tracks and seat-locking mechanism of a rollercoaster suffer a catastrophic failure. The riders shift from mock-fright and excitement to being terrified for their lives...

The football: The over-emotional manager loses it during a post-match interview after being wound up by notoriously evil rival manager Alex Ferguson.

The winner: Films. The rollercoaster scene is tense and terrifying and beautifully edited and confirms the worst nightmares of anyone who's too blousey to even go on a rollercoaster.

Keegan's meltdown is hilarious, but has been overplayed - and anyway, we love Kevin Keegan. Too many football managers are dull and analytical and media-trained. We wish there were more like Keegan - or Cloughie - or... Joe Kinnear...

(WARNING! REALLY RUDE LANGUAGE!)