0000: The 82nd Academy Awards are 90 minutes away, and over in LA Hollywood Boulevard is a riot of flashbulbs, tuxedos and questionable gowns. Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing a tin-foil concoction; Charlize Theron appears to be wearing her bra over her dress; and Meryl has come in a bathrobe.

0020: George Clooney - who's wearing his hair long this year - tells Ryan Seacrest even he voted for Jeff Bridges. "Jeff's the dude, man," he smiles.

0030: Is Jennifer Lopez wearing bubble wrap? That dress is her biggest boo-boo since Gigli.

0040: Hey, Keanu - Wolverine called and he wants his beard back. Downey Jr, that blue bow-tie looks weird. And Miley, you look like a doily.

0050: Sandra Bullock, who gamely picked up a Razzie in person on Saturday, looks fab in a classy silver number. It's a dress that says "I've come to win."

0100: Armando Ianucci has a grin wider than the Atlantic. No one knows who the hell he is but he looks elated to be on the red carpet.

0110: Morgan Freeman's chewing gum. Zac Efron hasn't brushed his hair. Mo'Nique from Precious is wearing Na'vi blue.

0120: An "all Gucci'd up" Jeff Bridges thinks it'd be "beautiful" to win an Oscar. "I can't think of anything more thrilling," he grins.

0125: Taylor Lautner thinks it's "totally surreal" to be at the Oscars. The pressure is off Kate Winslet, who's only presenting this year. And Meryl just wants to get inside the Kodak and kick off her Choos.

Next: The Ceremony...