The 10 Worst Sequels Of The '80s

Ten terrible follow-ups from the decade style forgot...


10. Grease 2 (1982)
If it had been any good, Grease 2 might have gone down in history as the first of a wave of musical sequels, not seen since the Broadway Melody series of the ’20s, ’30s and ’40s.

As it stands, it’ll simply be remembered as the film that makes you want to send Michelle Pfeiffer a lengthy condolence card.

9. Jaws 3-D (1983)
If George Lucas really is mulling over the idea of a 3D Star Wars, we’d suggest his mate Steven Spielberg release this monstrosity from the vaults and arrange a private screening.

Lucas would last about seven minutes before he ran away screaming. So in love with the faddy 3D technology that inspired it, Jaws 3-D forgets about plot, dialogue and characters to reach depths even Jaws: The Revenge couldn’t fathom.
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8. Psycho II (1983)
Yes, Psycho II. Not so much a name as an oxymoron we still find hard to comprehend.

Even if you did finish watching Psycho saying, “I wonder what happens next, I hope they make a sequel in around 23 years time,” you would have been disappointed by this melodramatic mess.

Some people will try to tell you its surprisingly good. Don't listen to them. They hate you.

If you do watch it, we’d advise sticking your head to the ground. That whirring sound you can hear, that’s Hitch spinning in his grave.
 
7. Staying Alive (1983)
The film that taught Stallone how to ruin a franchise (he wrote and directed it), this Saturday Night Fever sequel turns Tony Manero from a disco king into a Broadway underdog.

It might have worked, if Stallone hadn’t also made him a womanising bastard. “What do you want to do?” asks one character. “Strut,” says Manero. “Shit,” we mutter.
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6. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
‘Electric Boogaloo’ is shorthand for bad sequels. Of all the flicks on this list, it’s the only one you should watch – it’s a mesmerising mess.

If only we lived in the Boogaloo world, where breakdancing can cure the sick, pay bills and solve society’s ills. We’re doing the robot as we write. Help.
 
5. Rocky IV (1985)
Let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t a film, it’s a montage.

Still, if you were annoyed that you paid to watch 20-minute scenes of Stallone working out to songs by Survivor (punctuated by the odd bit of clumsy Reaganite propaganda), take comfort from the fact that Stallone insisted on boxing Dolph Lundgren for real, suffering a fistful of cracked ribs as a result.

We suspect Dolph saw some early rushes, and isn’t as dumb as he looks.
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4. Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
Forget Batman & Robin as a franchise killer – it took Superman nearly 20 years to recover from this.

We’re all for political metaphors in popcorn movies, as long as they’re subtle.

Superman IV, however, just stops short of making Supes turn to camera one and scream, “LOOK! NUCLEAR WEAPONS ARE BAD, OKAY? THAT’S WHY I’M FIGHTING SOMEONE NAMED NUCLEAR MAN!"
 
3. Teen Wolf Too (1987)
Teen Wolf Too is as cynical as sequels come, tearing every iota of charm, wit and charisma from the throat of the original.

With the producer’s son in the lead (Jason Bateman), surrounded by unknowns who seem to have been hand-picked to make him look good, and a script that doesn’t so much talk as howl, this should have been put down before it assaulted our vision.
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2. A Nightmare On Elm Street IV: The Dream Master (1988)
By this point in the series, Robert Englund was such a ham it wouldn’t surprise us if his make-up was just pork glued to his face.

According to legend, the effects sequences were filmed before a script was written, which is so plausible that we hope it’s true.

Bizarrely, this was the highest-grossing of the series until Freddy Versus Jason, which says more about the ’80s than the film’s quality.
 
1. The Karate Kid Part III (1989)
Finishing off the decade in ‘style’, The Karate Kid III epitomises what’s wrong with so many of the shitty sequels of the ’80s.

Leads that are way too old for their roles – Daniel’s (Ralph Macchio) whiny lack of self-confidence isn’t quite as appealing when he’s a grown man – and a plot that merely rehashes the original with diminishing charm.

Wax on, turn this off.

Comments

    • Flowbee79

      Feb 13th 2009, 19:07

      Psycho 2 was actually a pretty decent mystery film in its own right. It was hardly perfect, but Perkins's intesne performance as a Norman Bates who is actually trying to fight being drawn back into his own insanity makes him a weirdly appealing anti-hero.

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    • mattrix33

      Feb 14th 2009, 14:26

      There are some great "bad" movies in this list. Though you could of had any Nightmare on Elm street movie in the list

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    • bionicruth

      Feb 15th 2009, 17:07

      Heh Heh, Jaws 3. Here is a movie that when watched in 2-D is nothing more than gratuitous fish heads in long lingering shots, Louis Gossett Jr looking constipated most of the time ("seal the park, you hear me SEAL THE PARK" and play-by-play dialogue just incase you were having trouble with all the .. ahem .. twists and turns ("Overman was killed inside the park, the baby was caught INSIDE the park ... it's mother is I-N-S-I-D-E the park!) PLus at the end of the movie the "mother" in question seems to be made entirely of plasticine! Still have a soft spot for this one though ... it's c**p, but ... no wait, it is just c**p.

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    • T12AV15

      Feb 16th 2009, 19:30

      Rocky IV are you for real? Rocky IV is possibly the best rocky, a brilliant soundtrack too. You could of at least picked rocky V

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    • mattburgess

      Feb 26th 2009, 16:52

      Grease 2 is Awesome. Who ever cared about the jock getting his end off over the little choir priss? Everyone roots for the dork getting the hot girl (Peter Parker & Mary Jane, Clark Kent & Lois Lane, Wesley & The Princess Bride) Better than the original. Nuff said.

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    • MrScary

      Mar 18th 2009, 19:04

      Yes, Jaws 3d was horrible, but don't bust Spielburg's balls. He jumped ship after the 1st one and 3d was directed by Joe Alves.

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    • filmlegend

      Sep 3rd 2009, 4:12

      You people are a bunch of morons! Jaws 3-D might be bad, but ever heard of Jaws The Revenge? A film about a shark which follows the Brody family all the way to the bahamas in order to track them down. That's not only the worst sequel of all time {shared with GREASE 2!} but the worst film ever made. Period!

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    • filmlegend

      Sep 3rd 2009, 4:14

      No chance in hell is Jaws 3-D worse than Jaws The Revenge. Maybe the person who suggested that silly idea should consider giving up "jounalism" and becoming a bus driver, lol!

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    • SCY385

      Sep 14th 2009, 23:05

      This whole list is on time. These are some of the worst films you could ever imagine. There are some others that could make my list, but this list is pretty good.

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    • Toursiveu

      Sep 15th 2009, 14:53

      Worst sequel of all time? That would be Howling 2 - Your Sister is a Werewolf. (Though if you insist, Howling 7 - New Moon Rising - a sequel in name only must be considered the worst FILM of all time!) Joe Dante's beloved original was a wonderful and very entertaining B Movie with killer special effects. The second one has an end-credits montage of Sybil Danning's naked but hairy werewolf b***h. Years later, Howling 2's star, Christopher Lee apologised to Joe Dante on the set of Gremlins 2 for starring in that piece of s**t.

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