What Happens: Mario Van Peebles’ West Indian researcher Jake edges onto the prow of a boat intending to trick the shark into eating a rigged electrical device. Instead it eats him, in a spewing tide of blood and horror. Only, uh, he survives and is found in the water a few minutes later.

Why It's Stupid: Forget Van Peebles’ definitely-racist Jamaican accent (er, mon), the cold fact is, not even Jesus wearing his lucky pants could survive that mauling. It’s like the camera panning over at the end of Braveheart to show Mel Gibson ever so gingerly touching his head. Ooh! Close one.