What Happens: On the loose in New York, having escaped from his Broadway captivity, the mighty gorilla King Kong is reunited with miniature love Ann Darrow and, ummm, takes her ice-skating on a frozen central park lake.

Why It's Stupid: We all love a monstrously mismatched animal/human romance, but this is a step too far. Kong sliding around the ice on his arse like a giant hairy toddler and playfully flicking snow into the face of the giggling Ann takes the tragic heart of the original film and turns it into a mutant remake of Pets Win Prizes.