What Happens: Cybernetic superman Neo fights his way through over two hours of overblown wire work and reaches the core of The Matrix! Which, umm, turns out to be a sub-Orson Welles fat dude in a white suit explaining that Neo is maybe a program, or something.

Why It's Stupid: Because “Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of The Matrix” is the worst line ever delivered in a mainstream Hollywood film, and the fact it’s delivered by Colonel Sanders doesn’t help. Make with the fighting, please.