What Happens: Brought together by the at-this-point-unfathomable machinations of the plot, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Miles off of This Life have a three-way sword fight on an exotic island.

Why It's Stupid: Because, purely logistically speaking, the fight is utter balls: anyone at any time could just stab one of the other two going at it.

But mostly it’s because they’re fighting over the key to the chest containing Davey Jones’ still-alive heart, which is exactly the sort of literalist stupidity that sunk what should have been a brilliant trilogy.