22. Frankenhooker (1990)
The Movie
A med student loses his fiancé in a freak lawnmower accident.
He manages to save her head from being mowed, and decides to make her a new carcass using the body parts of prostitutes.
It’s your typical family fare.
Who So Bad?
Believe it or not, the genius premise was quietly improvised by director Frank Henenlotter during a pitch meeting.
The literary equivalent of that is probably Jesus strolling into a publishing house and making up the Bible off the top of his head.
Sadly, or possibly brilliantly, Henenlotter takes that premise and weaves one of the most genuinely bizarre films ever to go on general release from it.
You haven’t lived until you’ve seen an exploding hooker’s head knock a muscle-man in leopard print leggings unconscious. Luckily, you can see that below.
So Bad It’s Good?
Whether it’s the scenes where Frankenhooker is wandering around city streets barking “Wanna date?” at strangers before violently attacking them, or the stunning sequence where our hero throws a party for a bunch of prostitutes so he can measure them up and kill ‘em off with a pipe full of explosive crack, this is the sort of film you tell your kids about.
The Hooker Explosion
21. Contamination (1980)
The Movie
A cardboard coffee box full of slimy green alien eggs shows up on a boat. The US government investigates, and tries to work out where they came from. It's Mars. They tell you that in the trailer.
Why So Bad?
One of the earliest ‘80s Alien rip-offs is arguably better than the original, because it doesn’t bother with boring stuff like the gestating period of the Xenomorphs.
There are no facehuggers here, no chestbursters, Contamination simply cuts straight to the chase. You touch the alien eggs, your chest explodes. For no reason at all. Stunning.
So Bad It’s Good?
Brilliantly, director Cozzi claims in the DVD commentary that it isn’t his style to copy other movies. Before going on to admit that Contamination was ‘inspired’ by Alien. The man’s an indecisive genius.
Just to clear up any resulting confusion, Contamination is a massive rip-off of Alien. Though, for the record, the trailer is incredible.
The Trailer
Next: The Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion Of The Crust , Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College
Comments
minorityreport
Aug 24th 2009, 12:48
Great feature TF. I saw Chopping Mall recently and thought it was great fun, especially the nods to Roger Corman. But how have you missed Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers? That's got to be there.
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hughjass1970
Aug 24th 2009, 21:12
WTF is April Fools Day doing in this list?! The original is a classic compared to the by numbers DVD premiere remake. The twist in the orginal is part of it's charm.
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CatSchrodinger
Aug 25th 2009, 0:01
Ah! The Melting scene from Dead Heat - now we see where they got the idea for that F.A.S.T stroke-awareness campaign...
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Propaganja
Aug 25th 2009, 13:28
Has any of you ever seen S.S. Doomtrooper, that's a amusing bad horror flick. Or The Crow Wicked Prayer, which is even worse...
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espontaneo
Aug 28th 2009, 19:25
C'mon "The Stuff" is a great film! Well maybe not great, but it certainly has enough satirical content to raise it above the other dross on this list.
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oui3d
Aug 28th 2009, 22:44
Having just watched Treat Williams' bird melt all I could hear was him delivering the line "Now what?"
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LeisSuit
Aug 29th 2009, 0:22
Great list, but there are a few glaring omissions: -The Guardian: a Druid nanny sacrifices babies to a killer tree...classic bad movie! -Alone in the Dark: Tara Reid as an expert in ancient artifacts, and Christian Slater as the world's dumbest detective. -Deep Blue Sea: Samuel L. Jackson delivers his Best. Speech. EVER!!
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kc.sim@virgin.net
Aug 29th 2009, 9:34
two classics from the eighties stick out for me 1st Big meat eater 2nd the micro wave massacre with that great line "and i'll bring the snacks"
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ManMadeMonkey
Aug 30th 2009, 18:26
Brilliant feature, I will now have to hunt down every last one of these films to witness their genius with my own eyes. Thanks for the feature.
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welsh williams
Aug 31st 2009, 14:37
nostalgia overload, where was "Satan Little Helper" though??
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drhthomas
Sep 1st 2009, 10:53
Awesome list, some good oldies and even some new stuff to peruse. You failed to mention the greatest Alien rip off ever though XTRO - Part alien, part predator, all s**t! There's 3 of them too, thats hours no plotted, horribly acted terribleness, enjoy if you can find them.
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starwars4life
Sep 5th 2009, 14:03
Great list, but you missed out a major player - where's Twilight?
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