The 40 Greatest Movie Bastards
It's a love/hate thing. Deliciously nasty bad guys...
BY Jun 19th 2009 15:15PMFILED UNDER: Features
User Comments (16)
32. Jack Lint (Michael Palin)
Brazil (1985)
“I think the scariest evil people are also the nicest,” says director Terry Gilliam of Jack Lint, Brazil’s immaculately suited career torturer. “I thought Mike was perfect because he’s the nicest person I know.”
Too true – Palin twinkles with malice as the ever-beaming Lint, his effusive friendliness never quite masking a propensity for ambitious spine-shivving.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Smilingly ditching his lifelong chum, Sam (Johnathan Pryce) during his hour of direst need...
“We’ve always been good friends, haven’t we, Sam?” he smiles. “Well, until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me…”
31. Frank TJ Mackey (Tom Cruise)
Magnolia (1999)
Misogynism personified, Mackey is a pumped –up, preening sex guru who teaches his disciples to “Respect the cock and tame the cunt.”
His bastardy isn’t just limited to women, though. Visiting the home of his dying dad, he reels from nurse Philip Seymour Hoffman's pets, proclaiming, “I will drop-kick those fuckin’ dogs if they come near me!”
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Sweating mid-seminar, TJ explains to a blubbering audience member that his best friend Denise is to be laid, not trusted:
“Do you think she’ll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you’re gonna give me that cherry pie, sweet mama baby!"
30. Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson)
Back To The Future (1985)
Biff is a moron from a long line of morons, whose history of bullying is as integral to his Hill Valley home as the lightning-scorched clock tower.
The ultimate dumb jock with a pack of giggling loons to back him up, his twin passions are constant misquoting (“Make like a tree and get outta here!”) and torturing George McFly (Crispin Glover).
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Forcing his idea of ‘romance’ on George-crush Lorraine (Lea Thompson)... before a sucker-punch from the lanky McFly floors him.
29. Sam Stone (Danny DeVito)
Ruthless People (1986)
Seized by passionate loathing for the rich harridan he’s married to (Bette Midler), Spandex mini-skirt king Sam Stone plots evil murder schemes with his busty mistress Carol (Anita Morris)
The mercenary vulgarian can’t believe his luck when Mrs Stone is kidnapped by a pair of bumbling idiots.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Refusing to cough up the ransom, Stone gleefully challenges the kidnappers to silence the wife forever. But when the dwarfish slime-merchant finds himself accused of faking her kidnapping, he tries to ransom her back – at a discount.
Next: Blake, Mortimer Duke, Cesar Soubeyran...
Print Comments (16)
1: ThrashGordon says
cool, glad to see Burke in there, he rules!! Could have done with Ellis from Die Hard to shore up the 80s sleaze... ''Show him the watch... Its a Rolex.' 'Hans, Boobie! I'm you're white knight!'' Class. Maybe Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore too... ah I'm just listing all my heroes here!
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 12:37PMAlert a moderator
2: alowe says
Good shout with Shooter. And we know we haven't included Daniel Plainview - but he's keeping for something else... :)
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 3:26PMAlert a moderator
3: weirdr0b0t says
lets be honest... brick top from s****h should have been up there!! He was an awesome character, completely lacking any defining positive features!!
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 3:34PMAlert a moderator
4: slowhands107 says
The fact that you left Don Logan (Ben Kingsley - Sexy Beast) from the list makes it totally void.
Mr.Blonde!!!
Archibald Cunningham (Tim Roth -Rob Roy)
Stephen Graham in THIS IS ENGLAND.
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 4:42PMAlert a moderator
5: mic2803 says
i'm sorry, but you have all forgotten about Jeremy Irons' "Scar" from the "Lion King". "Long live the king", throwing his own brother into the depths of a fatal stampeed (is that the correct spelling?)
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 4:45PMAlert a moderator
6: omniblue says
I'm sorry. b*****d list without...
Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) @ American Psycho
Fails
Posted: Jul 8th 2009 // 12:48AMAlert a moderator
8: BapNayak says
What about Clancy Brown's Captain Hadley in Shawshank. I'm sorry but what an evil b*****d!
Posted: Jul 10th 2009 // 11:50AMAlert a moderator
11: Mozkiwi says
How about two b*****ds in one film? Once Were Warriors' Jake Heke (Temuera Morrison) who dismisses the family trip to visit his son in borstal, in favour of drinking at the local pub with his mates - one of whom, Bully (Cliff Curtis) rapes Jake's daughter,while the parents and guests are partying downstairs, with that most b*****dly of lines, "Give your Uncle Bully a kiss." Ick and ick... but the actors were brilliant!
Posted: Jul 13th 2009 // 12:34AMAlert a moderator
12: casinoheat says
Robert De Niro in Raging Bull... The biggest c**k on film
Posted: Jul 20th 2009 // 7:27PMAlert a moderator
13: Kedders1986 says
How Tom Berenger as Sgt. Barnes in Platoon. Shooting fellow soldier Willem Dafoe and leaving him for dead is a good enough reason.
Posted: Jul 22nd 2009 // 12:28AMAlert a moderator
14: halo14 says
This list can not be complete without Gary Oldman. He makes the ultimate 'bad guy' in many movies. The best - his perfomance as the pshycho pill popping detective in The Professional.
Posted: Jul 31st 2009 // 7:00AMAlert a moderator
15: SCY385 says
I have seen other lists about cinema b*****ds, and they always seemed to leave a few of my picks off. But you guys did me proud when you mentioned Dennis Peck from Internal Affairs. Of all the Jason's, Freddie's,etc. Dennis Peck scares me more than any of them. Why? Because he has the potential to be real. A cop with that kind of charisma, ruthlessness, and evil magnetism is a scary prospect. This was the role that proved to me that Richard Gere could act. Good choice.
Posted: Jul 31st 2009 // 10:29PMAlert a moderator
16: carolineadams says
how about Captain Vidal from Pan's Labyrinth??
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