The 40 Greatest Movie Bastards
It's a love/hate thing. Deliciously nasty bad guys...
BY Jun 19th 2009 15:15PMFILED UNDER: Features
User Comments (16)
28. Blake (Alec Baldwin)
Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
“You hear me, you fucking faggots?” sneers sales hotshot Blake at the cowering estate agents he’s been sent to light a fire under.
Pacing the office like a menacing hyena facing a whimpering bundle of newborn lions, and grinding the salesmen’s noses in their pathetic loserdom, the over-testosteroned bully issues an ultimatum: a new sales incentive will dole out the prizes.
Winner gets a Cadillac, the runner-up some steak knives. “Third prize is... you’re fired.”
Prime Act Of Bastardy: When Shelly Levene (Jack Lemmon) gets up to refill his mug, Blake barks a don’t-fuck-with-me order at the sad-sack salesman... “Put! That coffee! Down! Coffee’s for closers only!”
27. Mortimer & Randolph Duke (Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy)
Trading Places (1983)
Two bastards for the price of one. Playing God with other people’s existences is bad enough (turning a rich guy into a poor one, and vice versa), but doing it just for a dollar bet is rubbing the annual produce of a salt mine in the gaping wound.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: After making Billy Ray (Eddie Murphy) into a successful businessman, the incredibly rich brothers settle their bet and wonder whether or not to keep him on. They decide not:
“Do you honestly believe I’d have a nigger run our family business?” Randolph asks his brother. “No, neither would I,” replies Mortimer.
26. Cesar Soubeyran (Yves Montand)
Jean De Florette (1986)
You’ll struggle to find a more damning distillation of human greed than this crusty Gallic swine. Don’t be fooled by the Stella Artois soundtrack. He’s a proper bar-steward.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Refusing to loan Jean (Gerard Depardieu) his mule when the drought hits, Soubeyran condemns the hunchback to weeks of futile toil that destroys his land, his hope and, finally, his life. It’s murder by proxy.
25. Ron Anderson (Rowan Atkinson)
The Tall Guy (1989)
“There’s no more fun to be derived playing a complete shit,” admits Rowan Atkinson. And fun Rowan has – as Anderson, he excels at tormenting hapless straight man Dexter (Jeff Goldblum).
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Seeing Dexter’s having a bad day, Ron asks him if something’s troubling him. Dexter admits there is...
“Then for fuck’s sake talk to someone about it, will you?” sneers Anderson. “And sort it out before I hire a lobotomised monkey to play your role.”
Next: Carter Burke, Mr. Creosote, Hank Evans...
Print Comments (16)
1: ThrashGordon says
cool, glad to see Burke in there, he rules!! Could have done with Ellis from Die Hard to shore up the 80s sleaze... ''Show him the watch... Its a Rolex.' 'Hans, Boobie! I'm you're white knight!'' Class. Maybe Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore too... ah I'm just listing all my heroes here!
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 12:37PMAlert a moderator
2: alowe says
Good shout with Shooter. And we know we haven't included Daniel Plainview - but he's keeping for something else... :)
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 3:26PMAlert a moderator
3: weirdr0b0t says
lets be honest... brick top from s****h should have been up there!! He was an awesome character, completely lacking any defining positive features!!
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 3:34PMAlert a moderator
4: slowhands107 says
The fact that you left Don Logan (Ben Kingsley - Sexy Beast) from the list makes it totally void.
Mr.Blonde!!!
Archibald Cunningham (Tim Roth -Rob Roy)
Stephen Graham in THIS IS ENGLAND.
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 4:42PMAlert a moderator
5: mic2803 says
i'm sorry, but you have all forgotten about Jeremy Irons' "Scar" from the "Lion King". "Long live the king", throwing his own brother into the depths of a fatal stampeed (is that the correct spelling?)
Posted: Jul 7th 2009 // 4:45PMAlert a moderator
6: omniblue says
I'm sorry. b*****d list without...
Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) @ American Psycho
Fails
Posted: Jul 8th 2009 // 12:48AMAlert a moderator
8: BapNayak says
What about Clancy Brown's Captain Hadley in Shawshank. I'm sorry but what an evil b*****d!
Posted: Jul 10th 2009 // 11:50AMAlert a moderator
11: Mozkiwi says
How about two b*****ds in one film? Once Were Warriors' Jake Heke (Temuera Morrison) who dismisses the family trip to visit his son in borstal, in favour of drinking at the local pub with his mates - one of whom, Bully (Cliff Curtis) rapes Jake's daughter,while the parents and guests are partying downstairs, with that most b*****dly of lines, "Give your Uncle Bully a kiss." Ick and ick... but the actors were brilliant!
Posted: Jul 13th 2009 // 12:34AMAlert a moderator
12: casinoheat says
Robert De Niro in Raging Bull... The biggest c**k on film
Posted: Jul 20th 2009 // 7:27PMAlert a moderator
13: Kedders1986 says
How Tom Berenger as Sgt. Barnes in Platoon. Shooting fellow soldier Willem Dafoe and leaving him for dead is a good enough reason.
Posted: Jul 22nd 2009 // 12:28AMAlert a moderator
14: halo14 says
This list can not be complete without Gary Oldman. He makes the ultimate 'bad guy' in many movies. The best - his perfomance as the pshycho pill popping detective in The Professional.
Posted: Jul 31st 2009 // 7:00AMAlert a moderator
15: SCY385 says
I have seen other lists about cinema b*****ds, and they always seemed to leave a few of my picks off. But you guys did me proud when you mentioned Dennis Peck from Internal Affairs. Of all the Jason's, Freddie's,etc. Dennis Peck scares me more than any of them. Why? Because he has the potential to be real. A cop with that kind of charisma, ruthlessness, and evil magnetism is a scary prospect. This was the role that proved to me that Richard Gere could act. Good choice.
Posted: Jul 31st 2009 // 10:29PMAlert a moderator
16: carolineadams says
how about Captain Vidal from Pan's Labyrinth??
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