24. Carter Burke (Paul Reiser)
Aliens (1986)
Ah, the Yuppie. No.1 bastard stereotype of the ‘80s – and, according to Aliens writer/director James Cameron, of the late 22nd Century too. And what a fine example of Yuppiedom Burke is - smarmy, slimy, puts profits first, people second..
An entire colony of people in fact, after he knowingly exposes the inhabitants of LV-426 to a nest of Xenomorphs, just so he can bag the rights to a whole new breed of bio-weapon.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Locking bug-hunter Riply (Sigourney Weaver) and cute kiddie Newt (Carrie Henn) in a room with a pair of spindly face-huggers – all so he can smuggle a pair of gestating baby aliens back to Earth.
23. Mr. Creosote (Terry Jones)
Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983)
This lumbering, chundering man-mammoth doesn’t have much screen-time to convey his immense spitefulness. But a prosthetics-slathered Terry Jones only needs a few minutes of profane grunting and indiscriminate spewing to make it clear that Creosote is the original Fat Bastard.
He does have a heart (we actually see it after a deadly ‘waffer-theen-mint’ gutsplosion), but it’s buried beneath too many sweaty folds of blubber to be of any use.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: As if coating a posh restaurant in vomit wasn’t enough, Creosote aims a sport of hot-stomach-chunks at the cleaning lady scrubbing the floor next to his table.
22. Hank Evans (Jim Carrey)
Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
Mental-illness lobby groups were predictably indignant at the Farrely brothers’ decision to spin a split-personality disorder into a slapstick Jekyll and Hyde.
But Me, Myself & Irene’s real target is Dirty Harry, the obvious inspiration for repellent macho hardass Hank Evans. Merely fine as dopey state trooper Charlie Baileygates, Carrey’s in his element as the dildo-wielding, cow-slaying, lawn-defecating Hank.
In fact, Hank’s such a monstrous screen-hogger that the movie crumples whenever he’s not around.
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Pushing aside a baby to suckle from a breastfeeding mom and emerging, grinning, with a milk moustache.
21. Ethan Edwards (John Wayne)
The Searchers (1956)
Yes, he’s had a hard life. Yes, his niece has been kidnapped by Injuns. And yes, the grimmest man in cowboy land needs to be tough in order to handle a 15-year hunt across the badlands.
But, dear Lord, does he have to be such a blue-ribbon bastard about it?
Prime Act Of Bastardy: Shooting out the eyes of a dead Comanche. Why? On the off-chance that a Red Skin superstition is true...
“What that Comanche believes: ain’t got no eyes, can’t enter the spirit land, has to wander forever between the winds.” Harsh.
Comments
ThrashGordon
Jul 7th 2009, 12:37
cool, glad to see Burke in there, he rules!! Could have done with Ellis from Die Hard to shore up the 80s sleaze... ''Show him the watch... Its a Rolex.' 'Hans, Boobie! I'm you're white knight!'' Class. Maybe Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore too... ah I'm just listing all my heroes here!
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alowe
Jul 7th 2009, 15:26
Good shout with Shooter. And we know we haven't included Daniel Plainview - but he's keeping for something else... :)
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weirdr0b0t
Jul 7th 2009, 15:34
lets be honest... brick top from s****h should have been up there!! He was an awesome character, completely lacking any defining positive features!!
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slowhands107
Jul 7th 2009, 16:42
The fact that you left Don Logan (Ben Kingsley - Sexy Beast) from the list makes it totally void. Mr.Blonde!!! Archibald Cunningham (Tim Roth -Rob Roy) Stephen Graham in THIS IS ENGLAND.
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mic2803
Jul 7th 2009, 16:45
i'm sorry, but you have all forgotten about Jeremy Irons' "Scar" from the "Lion King". "Long live the king", throwing his own brother into the depths of a fatal stampeed (is that the correct spelling?)
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omniblue
Jul 8th 2009, 0:48
I'm sorry. b*****d list without... Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) @ American Psycho Fails
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Heskin
Jul 9th 2009, 12:02
What no Michael Corleone?
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BapNayak
Jul 10th 2009, 11:50
What about Clancy Brown's Captain Hadley in Shawshank. I'm sorry but what an evil b*****d!
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Mizino
Jul 10th 2009, 12:52
No Joker?
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greatatuin
Jul 12th 2009, 14:08
Daniel Plainview?
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Mozkiwi
Jul 13th 2009, 0:34
How about two b*****ds in one film? Once Were Warriors' Jake Heke (Temuera Morrison) who dismisses the family trip to visit his son in borstal, in favour of drinking at the local pub with his mates - one of whom, Bully (Cliff Curtis) rapes Jake's daughter,while the parents and guests are partying downstairs, with that most b*****dly of lines, "Give your Uncle Bully a kiss." Ick and ick... but the actors were brilliant!
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casinoheat
Jul 20th 2009, 19:27
Robert De Niro in Raging Bull... The biggest c**k on film
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Kedders1986
Jul 22nd 2009, 0:28
How Tom Berenger as Sgt. Barnes in Platoon. Shooting fellow soldier Willem Dafoe and leaving him for dead is a good enough reason.
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halo14
Jul 31st 2009, 7:00
This list can not be complete without Gary Oldman. He makes the ultimate 'bad guy' in many movies. The best - his perfomance as the pshycho pill popping detective in The Professional.
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SCY385
Jul 31st 2009, 22:29
I have seen other lists about cinema b*****ds, and they always seemed to leave a few of my picks off. But you guys did me proud when you mentioned Dennis Peck from Internal Affairs. Of all the Jason's, Freddie's,etc. Dennis Peck scares me more than any of them. Why? Because he has the potential to be real. A cop with that kind of charisma, ruthlessness, and evil magnetism is a scary prospect. This was the role that proved to me that Richard Gere could act. Good choice.
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carolineadams
Aug 27th 2009, 18:56
how about Captain Vidal from Pan's Labyrinth??
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FBLPedroza
Sep 25th 2011, 17:51
The Lieutienant from "Bad Lieutenant" and both versions to booth.
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abbywatson
Nov 22nd 2012, 6:09
You forgot Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series. He could even give Biff Tannen (Back to the Future) and Bully (Once Were Warriors) lessons on what a b*****d should be like and how a true b*****d should act. Plus, Biff would definitely be shocked at Draco's magical powers, seeing as how, although Biff is a bully, he's also a Muggle (non-magic person) in Harry Potter's world...
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