The 40 Greatest Movie Bastards

It's a love/hate thing. Deliciously nasty bad guys...

BY Dan Goodswen Jun 19th 2009 15:15PMFILED UNDER: Features

User Comments (16)

• << previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• next >>

20. Sean Bateman (James Van Der Beek) 

The Rules Of Attraction (2002)

Shattering his ultra-nice, ultra-bland Dawson’s Creek persona, Van Der Beek morphs into a malingering, manipulative, masturbating college type with ambitions to shag every nubile girl on campus.

He’s the younger sib of psycho Patrick, so what did you expect?

Prime Act Of Bastardy: Caught post-coital with the roommate of his current obsession, Bateman’s only response is a no-seriously, “I only did it with her because I’m in love with you!”

19. Percy Wetmore (Doug Hutchinson) 

The Green Mile (1999)

He’s petty, he’s pouty and he’s not a team player. But Percy Wetmore’s also a smug, well-connected little son of a bitch who’s prison-guard existence is one big power trip.

“I like to assign animals to my characters, it helps to give you an image - you move and think in a certain way,” says actor Doug Hutchinson. “For Percy, it was a pitbull.” Son of a bitch? It clearly worked…

Prime Act Of Bastardy: Convinced even the electric chair’s not harsh enough for his charges, he neglects to wet a crucial sponge during the execution of Eduard Delacroix (Michael Jeter), leading to a horri-frying death for the good-natured convict.

18. Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez (Eli Wallach) 

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (1966)

With a rap sheet that includes murder, robbery, extortion, deserting his wife and children and “theft of sacred objects,” Tuco takes his bastardising seriously. Motivated only by the promise of moolah, he’ll do away with or double-cross anyone – good or bad – to bathe in the glow of gold.

And he’ll do it all with a sneer, a cackle and some terrific insults. “You’re the son of a thousand fathers,” he screams at Eastwood’s Man With No Name. “All bastards like you!” Pot? Kettle? Whatever.

Prime Act Of Bastardy: Tuco drags Clint through the desert, after having shot a hole in his water bottle, blasted his hat off his head and quipping, “Looks like you won’t have too much to carry!” 

17. Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) 

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

“I’ve always been considered an asshole for as long as I can remember,” say’s World’s Worst Father Royal Tenenbaum. “That’s just my style.” At least he’s self-aware…

Which actually makes it worse when he fakes a terminal illness to get back into his family home. Or takes his grandkids to a dogfight. Or dismisses his daughter’s first ever play as “just a bunch of little kids dressed up in animal costumes.” To her face.

Prime Act Of Bastardy: Shooting his eldest son, Chas (Ben Stiller), with a BB gun during a war game. “What are you doing? You’re on my team!” wails Chas as he sees Pop take aim. “Ha ha!” cackles Royal, “There are no teams!”

Next: Raymond Delauney, Harry Callahan, King Edward...

• << previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• next >>

Print