Drink!
Well-known actress turns up in hideous dress.

Drink!
Warm-up from host Jon Stewart, complete with self-deprecating WGA gag, is met with polite smattering of laughter.

Drink!
Any variation on “Without them we’d be nothing.” regarding some technical award, given with zero emotion by an actor who thought they’d at least be giving out ‘Best Screenplay’.

Drink!
Attempt to cram in politics by winner goes down like a catfood sandwich.

Drink!
Best Picture nominations are read out with total earnestness, complete with steely eye-contact with camera.

Drink!
“God, I’m about to start crying. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry...”

Drink!
The camera picks out Jack Nicholson in the front row. Some poor sod in the ‘In Memoriam’ section doesn’t get a round of applause.

Drink!
We hear our tenth WGA reference of the night. No-one laughs.

Drink!
Someone’s speech is cut short by the clock-watching orchestra.

Drink!
DiCaprio quietly smirks during whatever award he’s giving out this year.

Drink!
Best Actress winner cries. A lot.

Drink!
Look of embarrassment on everyone’s face when There Will Be Blood doesn't win best picture.

Drink!
After the glitz and hype, the event is even more boring than last year’s. Why did we stay up again this year, etc, etc...?