The top five humans in zombie films

From Trash to Shaun, our favourite zombie dishes...

5. Trash - The Return Of The Living Dead

WHO IS SHE?
Trash is the red-haired post-punk scream queen, who spends most of the runtime of Dan O’ Bannon’s zombie opus Return Of The Living Dead running about completely naked. If there was an Oscar for ‘Best Gratuitous Nudity Scene,’ this film would have won every year since 1985.
 
WHAT MAKES HER COOL?
Aside from her truly ironic death scene (after telling her mate that the worst way for her to die would be “for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive.” well, see if you can guess what happens...) Trash is a post-punk pin-up, played by schlock goddess Linnea Quigley, and her every movement is soundtracked by bands like the Cramps. The question isn’t what makes her cool – it’s: ‘Is there anything about her that isn’t cool?’

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:
Chuck: Hey, somebody get some light over here, Trash is taking off her clothes again.

4. Major Henry West - 28 Days Later...

WHO IS HE?
The lunatic third-act army fella, who welcomes 28 Days' human survivors into his ranks. For a bit, anyway.

WHAT MAKES HIM COOL?
Don’t get us wrong, he’s not the nicest bloke in the world – the line ‘I promised them women’ would send a shiver down even the most decomposed spine – but if the sight of military maniac barking orders at a chained-up deadhead isn’t cool, we don’t know what is. He’s essentially the Brit Colonel Kurtz and our equivalent of the military nutters in Day Of The Dead. So, ace then.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE:
Major Henry West: This is what I've seen in the four weeks since infection. People killing people. Which is much what I saw in the four weeks before infection, and the four weeks before that, and before that, and as far back as I care to remember. People killing people. Which to my mind, puts us in a state of normality right now.

3. Ben - Night Of The Living Dead

WHO IS HE?
The no-nonsense, straight-talking hero of Night Of The Living Dead. The original zombie hero, in the original zombie flick, his inclusion is mandatory.

WHAT MAKES HIM COOL:
Ben always seems to know what to do in any given situation, doesn’t take crap from anyone, and is able to improvise – turning a suburban home into a zombie-proof fortress in a matter of minutes. He seems to be the first bloke to work out that you can outrun zombies with a jog, and explosions can’t stop him. He's John McClane in smarter clothes, basically.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE
Ben: Now get the hell down in the cellar. You can be the boss down there, but I'm boss up here!

2. Cherry Darling - Planet Terror

WHO IS SHE?
The latest plucky female lead in a Robert Rodriquez flick – a Texan tearaway with a penchant for bad boys.

WHAT MAKES HER COOL?
She’s a go-go dancer in a Robert Rodriquez film, who has a Gatling gun for a prosthetic leg. She also wants to be a stand-up comedian, which is pretty stylish.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE
Cherry Darling: It's go go, not cry cry.

1. Shaun - Shaun Of The Dead

WHO IS HE?
The ultimate British hero. All he wants to do is chill-out and play a bit of Playstation with his mate, whilst sustaining a relationship with his long-suffering girlfriend and perhaps listening to some Prince vinyls. Then the dead rise, and the rest is rom-zom-com-history.

WHAT MAKES HIM COOL?
Well, his record collection for one thing. That and his ability to twat the undead with a cricket bat whenever he gets the chance.

SAMPLE DIALOGUE
Ed: Purple Rain?
Shaun: No.
Ed: Sign o' the Times?
Shaun Definitely not.
Ed: The Batman soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.