What If... classic films could be recut to star Jason Statham?
If only the Crank: High Voltage star could be, like, digitally inserted into every movie ever...
BY Oct 22nd 2008 15:15PMFILED UNDER: Features
User Comments (4)
Jason Statham IS... Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society
Inspirational English teacher Jason Statham encourages his pupils to embrace love, life, self-expression (via the shameless exposure of his taut ex-model torso) and the transcendental fackin' power of poetry.
But when the strict father of one of Jason Statham's star pupils forbids his talented son to pursue a passion for acting, tragedy strikes as Jason Statham uppercuts him into the ceiling.
Co-starring: Keira Knightley as the desk.
Jason Statham IS... Geena Davis in Thelma & Louise
Out on a weekend road-trip with his best fackin' girlfriend, Jason Statham gets oiled-up and wild in a roadside bar, tempting a randy cowpoke with his beefy but taut ex-model torso.
When the cattle-jockey turns date-rapist, Jason Statham roundhouse-kicks his stetson, causing it to spin away and boomerang back vertically, slicing the man in half laterally, like in Terminator 2.
Co-starring: Ross Kemp as Susan Sarandon
Print Comments (4)
1: davebaxter1989 says
Man I really dislike Jason Statham.
Posted: Oct 22nd 2008 // 6:59PMAlert a moderator
3: rorschach says
Hes good at what he does i guess..but i dont like what he does! And just shave your f*****g head already! Its like watching the long lost Mitchel brother in action
Posted: Apr 16th 2009 // 8:58PMAlert a moderator
4: Hotspur1882 says
lol rorshach. In five years time he will be turning up at the Queen Vic once his movie and straight to DVD career has finally had the decency to die.
He is the English Vin Diesel, only with a better American accent lol
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