The Original: Bella, fearing for her life from nasty human-hunting vampire James, flees to Phoenix.
But James is too smart for her, and lures her into a trap at, um, a ballet school, by claiming he has her mother hostage.
He attacks Bella, and bites her wrist, but Edward and his family arrive to save her in the nick of time.
JC Comment: “Okay, that’s total BS. I don’t buy that this headstrong, independent girl would suddenly get that stupid and that weak. I’m going to switch it up.”
The James Cameron Version: Bella travels to Phoenix, but along the way she gets training from some desert militia who buff her into perfectly muscled action-girl status and train her to use every gun ever invented.
When James shows up, Bella blasts him into vamp-ashes with a chain gun. Edward arrives and Bella slings him over her shoulder to take him to prom, which she attends in a ratty vest top and combat troos.
Like This? Then try...
- A Beginner's Guide To Twilight
- What If... Movie Vampires Had Good Hair?
- 7 Movie Characters Who Need Therapy
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Comments
Liamario
Jul 17th 2009, 20:44
Ahhhhh...... now I see why the forums are dead- it's so obvious really
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imaginarium
Jul 19th 2009, 2:44
Charlie Cullen? There's Charlie Swan... or Carlisle Cullen.. but he's not a 'brother', that could only be Emmett or Jasper..
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Helenszone
Jul 22nd 2009, 11:46
Basketball? Sinking hoops? I think you'll find that's baseball, and getting home runs....
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