Why so serious Becks? Arnie’s puns doing your head in? Or is it the result...gulp.
Next: Liz vs Posh[page-break]
Will England be eye-wateringly good as Liz or as ear-bleedingly bad as Posh?
Next: Spidey 2 vs Spidey 3[page-break]
Too many villains ruined it didn’t they Becks? You only need one baddie. Just ask Rob Green.
Next: Heat vs Righteous Kill[page-break]
A brilliant double-act on paper, Pacino and DeNiro come over all Gerrard and Lampard in Righteous Kill.
Next: The Droids vs Jar-Jar[page-break]
What’s that Becks? You don’t like Jar-Jar? He’s making your poor little ears bleed? Let’s turn him off then eh? There. All better.
Next: David vs Edward[page-break]
This new breed of vampire is all style over substance eh Dave? Plenty of hype with nothing much backing it up…sounds familiar.
Next: 3D Past vs 3D Present[page-break]
Jaws 3D? Oh Becks, you’d have more fun giving the Algeria game a second watch!
Next: Craig vs Lazenby[page-break]
Capello seems to have gone from no-nonsense tough-guy to miscast no-mark in a matter of weeks.
Next: Vinnie vs Vinnie[page-break]
Duff footballer in entertaining caper= good. Duff footballer in awful car-crash=bad. Where will big Emile find himself this afternoon?
Next: Costner vs Crowe[page-break]
It was a lot more fun in the nineties eh Becks?
Next: Salma vs Showgirls[page-break]
The sexy football from qualification seems like a distant memory. Get it right this afternoon chaps, or global ridicule awaits.
Next: Indy 1,2 & 3 vs Indy 4[page-break]
Or maybe it's just time to retire. Sometimes it's best to hang up your boots before things get a bit, well...shit.
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