The Tall Man

[FBSDeMorgan]

The Tall Man
(Contains Spoilers – but that really doesn’t matter)

The Tall Man is, hands down, one of the weirdest films I’ve seen all year. It may well be one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen. To try and encapsulate its plot in a single line would be to do this film a disservice; I couldn’t break down its story ‘simply’ if I had all the time in the world. I could certainly tell you what happens during the film and I could convey what the trailers for the movie try to convince you of what will happen, but the plot? Fuggedaboutit.

Somewhere in “Rundown Isolated They-closed-our-mine Smalltown, USA”, children are going missing. So far upwards of a dozen and apparently no one has clue-one as to how or why, let alone who is doing it. Also, no one appears to be that bothered about it, especially the police led by either William B.Davis (formally Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-files and also champion Water-skier. Fact) who’s the local sheriff or Steven McHattie (“when you can’t book Lance Henriksen give me call.”) who looks like he works for the FBI. At some point during the movie they show a selection of TV interviews of the locals who seem to attribute the kidnappings to a local legend referred to as ‘The Tall Man’. Anyway, there are no leads at present and no one seems remotely put out by this appalling series of events. Everyone seems perfectly content to spend their days drinking coffee at the local diner rather than look for missing children or comfort angry and terrified parents.

We are introduced to Jessica Biel’s character who appears to be the local doctor (actually she’s just a nurse; her husband, the doctor, buggered off). A car load of women turn up at her place of work, one of which is pregnant and about to give birth. Long story short; baby is born, mother and child soon leave town which I think we’re supposed to feel a little suspicious about. There’s also a young teenage girl (who I mistakenly thought might have been Jessica’s daughter) that we are introduced to at this point who in incapable of talking and spends all her time drawing in her little notebook. It’s a character trait with one purpose and one purpose only, so she can flick through her little notepad so we can see a drawing of The Tall Man, replete with ominous musical stirrings. She does. It’s also perfectly clear that this mute child is so obviously the girl who reads the opening monologue (as no other teen girls are introduced throughout the film, probably because the rest have been kidnapped. More coffee, Sheriff?). This renders the whole dramatic point of the ‘mute’ thing pretty pointless. You know full well that at some opportune moment she’s going to speak out and save the day.

Later that night Jessica goes home to a woman and a boy, it’s never made explicitly clear who either of them are. The other woman is too old to be her daughter, so maybe it’s just a live-in friend or perhaps her partner. There’s also a young boy, suggested to be her son but, again, never made clear. I thought it might have been a much younger brother. Anyway, the girls have a drink after the kid is put to bed, have one too many and go to bed themselves, but not together. Biel is woken up by ‘clearly there is someone in your house kidnapping your child’ noises and goes to investigate. Turns out there was someone in her house kidnapping her child. She gives chase (the kidnapper bundles the child into one of those ‘I’m so obviously up to no good’ type vans), pretends to be Indiana Jones, fights with an indestructible dog and falls asleep in the middle of the road where she’s found by Steven McHattie who, I dare say, was on his way to the local diner for a cup of coffee. Instead of taking the badly beaten and distraught woman to the local police station/hospital, as any competent law enforcement officer should, she’s taken to the local diner for a cup of coffee.

Now, this is where the film disappears completely up its own arsehole. Up until this point (and as the trailer would have you believe) you are under the impression that Jessica Biel will do everything in her power to get her child back from the mysterious Tall Man. In all likelihood, she will bump heads with the locals/police who dismiss her wild theories, find the kidnapper’s lair (along with the missing children), kill the bad guy and reunite with her son and live happily ever after, roll credits. No. Not even close. If you asked anyone what was to happen next no one could even stumble on the next hours events, not even if you’ve toked your way though a large bag of weed. The entire town, enjoying a cup of coffee at the local diner at 2am (and I do mean all of them), seem to be in on the whole thing. Ok, I can buy that; there’s a conspiracy that Biel must fight her way though in order to get back her child. That might make for a quietly exciting, albeit pedestrian, movie. But, no, that’s not the plot either. So, Biel escapes and makes her way to one of those large abandoned hospitals that litter Middle-America (where someone has helpfully been keeping up with the electricity bills) when she runs into one of the crazed mothers that had their child snatched. We were actually briefly introduced to her earlier, at the diner where everyone stared at her through the haze of their coffee.

It turns out, in one of those ‘there is simply no way in Hell that I could see that coming’ moments, that Biel is the kidnapper. The child she was chasing like a woman possessed actually belonged to this other lady and this other lady, who has (quite understandably) tied up Biel, is now demanding answers. The question must now be asked, why was Jessica chasing the man that took the child from her house earlier on? Was it the mother trying to take her son back? No. Is that question actually ever satisfactorily answered? No.

Now, at this point, we are barely half way through the film. We are about 45 minutes in and we are left with no protagonist, no one to root for and therefore no reason to give two hoots about anything that may or may not happen for the duration of the movie. I mean, is this other woman about to become the new hero? Will it turn out that Biel has been wronged in some fashion, that she is being forced into doing this by some as yet unseen unscrupulous person or persons? Nah. Biel gets locked up and the woman that she shared her home with hangs herself in the warbrobe.

It turns out that there is a labyrinth of tunnels under Biel’s house, our two favourite coffee drinking coppers head down to have a look round for the remainder of the missing sprogs. After the briefest of glances, McHattie decides that it would take at least 100 men many 100’s of hours to search the entire place so they should return to the surface and get as many men as possible to commence this mammoth undertaking. The shot then promptly cuts to a grand total of 3 men exiting the abandoned mine empty handed and, no doubt, craving a hot cup of coffee.

I have literally no real idea what is going on now. The children might be dead or they may have been kidnapped and adopted by rich folks living in the city so that they can have a “better life”. I have no idea if Jessica Biel had a hand in all of the kidnappings or just the one. I don’t know why she gave chase at the beginning as it is suggested that she can summon this Tall Man, again for reasons never made entirely clear.

When the Tall Man does make an appearance at the end of the film the most startling thing about him is his height. He would certainly tower over children, but tall he is not. Average at the most, but I suppose ‘Average Height Man’ doesn’t sound particularly menacing. Anyway, the mute girl from the beginning (who didn’t get a chance to sound her voice at some dramatic conclusion owing to the fact that the film doesn’t have a dramatic conclusion) gets into a fight with someone that might be her father, maybe. She runs off in the creepiest direction she can until she is confronted by The Tall Man, possibly. The Tall Man shows her a hidden compartment under the backseat of his car, which she willingly hides in. The car drives off to ‘the Big City’ and I think she gets adopted and learns to speak.

At this point if it turned out that Bigfoot and Elvis where behind the whole operation (whatever that operation might have been) I would not have been surprised. Nor would I have been shocked if the last 30 minutes was suddenly an episode of Cheers, or a cricket match, an opera or a dry documentary about lathes. Nothing mattered at this point because there was no one to care for or about. Characters came and went, along with their motivations. Nothing made sense.

It is perhaps this that frustrates me most. I mean, what was the point of any of it? This movie cost $15’000’000. And for what? You get nothing for it. Nothing. There is no plot, no thrills, no spills. The trailer is a complete lie. I get that you can’t give away the whole film; that would ruin the ‘plot twist’ as it has been incorrectly labelled, but it is suggesting the film will be something it isn’t. I am also aware that ‘marketing’ have to convince people to see the film and for that it at least intrigued me enough to want to watch the movie.

Pascal Laugier is both the writer and director of The Tall Man. Remember this name. Remember this name so that you can avoid it at all costs (any credit he had raised with ‘Martyrs’ has been wiped clean). This man took $15’000’000 of someone elses money and made a towering turd. But do I blame him? Someone read the script, or at least read the first few pages, and gave him the money to make it. But perhaps they thought that it was only $15’000’000, so it was probably a fairly safe bet. And by that I mean that the money men know that it’s a piece of shit but there’s a fairly good chance it’ll make more than the budget back if they market it correctly and by correctly I mean bare-faced lying. It stars a selection of well known (or at least recognisable) actors who put in perfectly decent performances, it’s shot well enough, edited competently etc, etc. From a perfectly technical standpoint it is a well made film.

The bottom line is that the film makes no sense. If it does make sense and I missed that vital line that explains it all then I can only apologise. If there was something that I missed though, then it was absolutely the fault of the director. If there was supposed to be some deeper message in there, I missed that as well. If it wanted me to think about something, then it succeeded; it made me think WTF?

I’m off for a coffee.

[aleksamson]

I actualy laughed out loud at most of your long qoute descriptions & enjoyed the whole thing. I just watched the movie & it had more then one schoking turning point. After long rooting for the greatest individual in that shit hole - schok-surprise & a period of intense waiting to see who is now the bad guy.
I was surprised with the last part of your take on it - that you didn't like it & I think I can clear some of it that you didn't understabd.
It was not Prometheus like ''make your own end'' and many other details ( btw.excuse my spelling/english) But I was left with some heavy questions about morality & ethics.
Biels character turns out-not to be some psycho (killer) The mute girls is greatfull at the end,loves her second mother/Biel, which is now a ''monster'' just so children can have a life. Now, this was as you say ''small town-mine closed'' place. Very much like ''wrong turn'' slashers, full of freaks becouse of the closed mine toxic watter & in breading. The new born baby she practicaly saved,was not taken to any hospital. Mother of the mute girl asked Biel to stay quiet / not to register the baby. This makes you think that the father was some brother,father, step father or something. The place was awful & with the mute girl self-choice & the curly boy in the end is telling us how all those children are defenately better...I have a realy hard time saying that it's wrong.