Total Film: The Modern Guide to The Movies

pinkdegu · #21 29-08-2010, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fortunesfool

The mong that sat behind me during 'Inception' and complained to his mate that the film was 'pish' every 10 minutes because he had the attention span of a thick goldfish and cant follow anything without using his finger.

What a twunt! I had some fat girl stuck next to me in Inception. I got there early to sit at the very bag centre with the aisle in front of me for extra leg room and some dickheads arrived really late and were like "can you move down a seat?" and I was like "NO!" but my other half didn't want a scene so I had to. I ended up with this girl on my right who breathed so heavily it sounded like a death rattle the whole way through and she had elbows like a wrestler. It ruined my night completely all because of the cocks that turned up late.

Zippykins1 · #22 29-08-2010, 06:49 PM

I think they should install bouncers for cinema screens to get rid of these people.

Projectionist · #23 29-08-2010, 07:20 PM

I would have kicked her out reminds of a really fat lady that got on the bus one day she sat down pulled out a multi pack of mars bars and ate 3 of the all within 4 stops 15 mins max . She could hardly breath (Shivers)

jaykays hat · #24 30-08-2010, 10:40 AM

I took my wife and son to see Diary of a Wimpy kid during the week and it was full of kids as expected but they all behaved themselves but one couple that turned up late had a very young baby, the baby starts kicking off half way through the film so the woman gets her fat titty out and starts breastfeeding the kid. I'm no prude but I found this to be offensive seeing as it was in full view of the kids. Why do these selfish morons bring baby's into the cinema anyway?

When I saw the expendables I had 3 black guys sat behind me that got very animated everytime Terry Crews entered the shot, they got on my f*cking nerves.

pinkdegu · #25 06-10-2010, 09:43 AM

I've just read through this thread again and I remembered so many more grizzly moments I've had.

My mum had one of the worst; she went to see Air Force One with my dad (she had a thing for Harrison Ford) and when she got up at the end, her jeans were all damp. Now, my mum didn't pee herself, but someone else had, and the cinema staff had not cleaned it up. Hence my mum was soaked through with someone elses piss. She went to the staff, and received one free film ticket. So my poor mum, who at the time had me and my sister to look after (we were fairly young) had to find time to come back on her own to see a film. I don't get why they couldn't have given one to my dad too, since he was the one who had to walk out with a woman with sopping wet piss-soaked jeans.

I myself have had some pretty awful experiences (not counting above Inception incident). Like my mum, I hate people kicking my seat. Unlike my mum, I can't turn round and tell the little bastard behind that if they carry on I will break their legs. I did used to work in a cinema though (I'm not saying which one in case I get in trubble, but I will say I now watch my films at Vue in Norwich as it is a lot cleaner and nicer than the main cinema).
During the screenings of the final Pirates of the Caribbean film, people liked to pee in cups and leave them for us to clean up. One day, my collegue found a tub of what she thought was Ben and Jerrys. It was actually poo.
I've been the bouncer who tells people to move out of the premier seating. And I've been the poor idiot who stands there directing those with tickets to their premier seating whilst chavs have thrown food at me, called me fat and stupid, told my collegue his mum should have had an abortion, and told me I looked like Shrek. I feel for the staff, I really do. But not in that place, since they were all a bit psychotic from having to work there and were no longer normal.

morris · #26 06-10-2010, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkdegu

One day, my collegue found a tub of what she thought was Ben and Jerrys. It was actually poo.

Every time I think the behaviour of people can't disgust me any more, I hear something new which turns my stomach.
Can't believe they gave your poor mum one lousy ticket for that disgusting experience. That is APPALLING. I'd wanna bash someone's head in.

Zippykins1 · #27 06-10-2010, 01:18 PM

Ick. Ick. Ick. Horrible!

Jeffbiscuits · #28 06-10-2010, 03:11 PM

It was about ten years ago and I can't even remember what film it was. Just remember standing up to leave at the end of the film and about twenty bits of popcorn fell off my head onto the floor. The two juveniles behind me had basically spent the whole film balancing it on my head without my noticing. To be honest it was pretty impressive and I might have congratulated them if they hadn't left as soon as the credits came up. Was even more impressive when putting my jacket on I discovered the hood and pockets to be crammed full of popcorn too.

jaykays hat · #29 06-10-2010, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeffbiscuits

It was about ten years ago and I can't even remember what film it was. Just remember standing up to leave at the end of the film and about twenty bits of popcorn fell off my head onto the floor. The two juveniles behind me had basically spent the whole film balancing it on my head without my noticing. To be honest it was pretty impressive and I might have congratulated them if they hadn't left as soon as the credits came up. Was even more impressive when putting my jacket on I discovered the hood and pockets to be crammed full of popcorn too.

Now that's funny, I probably wouldn't have found it funny if it had happened to me though.