TF Forumites on Twitter

[morris]

Don’t have time to read through Twitter? Here’s a summary of what’s going on there:

Quote attributed to someone or something that is unexpected

Snarky reply to stupid celebrity question.

@ mentions between celebrities

Rob Delaney retweet

Tweet slamming Nickelback

Ninjas!

Tweet about alternate universe where annoying celebrity does not exist

Boobs

Liberal political joke

Fake celebrity/political figure/ religious figure @ mention

Subtweet

Tweet expressing twitter users’ mental and comedic superiority over stand-up comedians

Come to my stand up / improv show!

Read this thing I posted on tumblr.

Ironic response to hashtag. #lame

Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse.

Celebrity tweet that makes little sense

Tweets about favstar

Thanks for picking my tweet as the best tweet of the day

I’m too lazy to write new material so I’ll just post this old tweet from 6 months ago so my new followers can see it.

Someone died 30 seconds ago! Let me be the first person to make a joke that’s so obvious a thousand other people will independently make the same joke.

I am high.

I am drunk.

Listen to my podcast/ watch my webcast!

Retweets of @mentions from followers who take jokes seriously.

I’m a celebrity and I’m bored- ask me questions.

Witty and insightful tweet from famous astrophysicist

I hate my job.

I neglect my children.

Michael J. Fox experiences tremors as a result of Parkinson’s.

Extremely violent thoughts often threatening homicide for someone saying something mildly inane.

I wonder if the singer from that decades old pop song ever obtained the information sought in said pop song.

Facebook sucks.

I don’t give a fuck about your tumblr.

Retweeted favstar notification in effort to earn more stars.

Retweets of tweets containing spelling mistakes in relation to a trending topic.

Self deprecating tweet about poor tweet quality.

Gas is expensive

Open letter to person with habit/trait tweeter finds annoying

I don’t give a fuck.

I love my followers.

Fuck off, unfollowers.

I hate the so-called “twitter elite”

Reply to twitter elite / celebrity

#FF list of 15 people

Blatantly untrue “confession” on Tuesdays

Tweet about something mundane: also, something silly

Question about an embarrassing topic phrased rhetorically where the intent is to show that although it is phrased rhetorically, it is, indeed, the tweeter him or herself that seeks such information

Question seeking clarification on whether or not something is socially acceptable. Related: something that demonstrates that the tweeter is doing this socially unacceptable thing

My spirit animal is a comedic reflection of my personality

alcohol

That awkward moment when nobody stars your “awkward moment” tweet.

Apology for not tweeting as much these days.

Stop correcting my typos in @ replies

List of two normal things and one absurd thing.

Fake celebrity account retweet

I’m on twitter when I should be sleeping.

Tweet about draft folder

Late night monologue style tweet regarding news headline.

I have a humorous superpower.

Married people don’t have sex.

My coworker deserves to die.

I hate people.

Tweet about willingness to perform sex act men like.

Insult of historical figure

I can’t believe this person stole my tweet.

Re-tweet of my tweet, illustrated.

Photograph of something gross.

Serious, sincere tweet about how grateful tweeter is for his or her followers.

Bacon.