Battleship

[jaykays hat]

Get a big pot and put in a little of Armageddon, a pinch of Transformers, a dose of Independence day, add some AC/DC songs from Ironman and the Fortunate Son end track from Die Hard 4 and you have Battleship. Which was ok by me as I like all of those films that have been blended in the pot. Leave your brain at the door and enjoy the film.

[Zippykins1]

The worst film I have seen this year. Taylor Kitsch's wooden acting seems to have rubbed off on the rest of the cast.

I can forgive a fairly mindless action film if it at least has some funny bits. This raised one small chuckle - not good enough.

AVOID.

[jaykays hat]

Taylor Kitsch could be the new Keanu

[Zippykins1]

And I know its not his fault if that's his actual name but I think he has a stupid name.

[Lizhawkins]

But it has the god that is Alexander Skarsgård in it... Please don't tell me he's rubbish too?

So TF's 2 star review is appropriate?

**

Here's a link to Total Film's 2 star Battleship review.

**

[Zippykins1]

Originally Posted by Lizhawkins

But it has the god that is Alexander Skarsgård in it... Please don't tell me he's rubbish too?

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER









He dies early on, and is pretty rubbish.

[napoleon]

For a film apparently based on the classic pen and paper game BATTLESHIPS, I suppose we should not have had such high hopes for the end result - plotwise anyway.

At least there was no yelling of, "You sunk my Battleship"!

On the plus side, it does makes a nice change from the endless stream of computer game adaptations!

[Cop223]

Although I’m sure that no one is watching this movie for its plot, there are a few SPOILERS here:

Battleship –The perfect word to sum this up is generic (well ok there’s plenty of other words but the forum won’t let me use them). We have our hero, he’s a wild young man who has talent, we aren’t told what this talent is mind you, but apparently he’s got tonnes of it. He unfortunately wastes it through drinks and fights, so his brother decides that he must do something with his life and join the Navy. Somehow, we aren’t told how, he manages to get quite high up in the Navy rankings despite this undisciplined attitude (must be that talent). So aliens land in the sea, brother dies, hero has to step up, they play Battleships for a while and stuff explodes. That’s the movie.

The aliens look like every single computer game and movie alien you’ve seen before, I don’t know how they managed that but they did. Also these aliens are stupid, I’m talking worse than Independence Day here. For some reason they don’t eliminate the Navy ships until they become a threat. Yet they will send a lone alien to disable the ship, but this alien will also leave the crew alone… until they become a threat! Why not just blow them up? Also these aliens can navigate thousands of light years in space avoiding comets, asteroids, planetary bodies, yet when it comes to landing... one of them hits a satellite and crashes. For the CGI, yes it looks impressive in HD but it already looks like cut scenes from a video game, imagine what it will like in a couple of years time.

The acting in this movie is average. Liam Neeson and Tadanobu Asano are the only noteworthy actors but you get the impression that they're only there for the big pay cheque. Also why the hell is Rihanna in this movie? Surely they could have saved some money and gotten someone that can actually act. The main guy is ok in the role but extremely forgettable.

This movie is mindless CGI with no plot, pretty much what you’d expect from a film based on the Battleship game. For that it kind of succeeds… still, how did this movie ever get green lit? For anyone who enjoys film as a medium for conveying emotions and stories, this is torture. For people who like watching computer generated s**t explode then this is your film.
1.5/5