NEW FILMS:

25 NEW FILMS REVIEWED THIS ISSUE INCLUDING:
V For Vendetta, Romance & Cigarettes, The Proposition, Transamerica, The Weather Man, Lucky Number Slevin, The Hills Have Eyes and The Pink Panther.

BUZZ:

EXCLUSIVE PICTURES! INSIDER PREVIEWS! HOT MOVIE NEWS! ALL KNEEL BEFORE TOTAL FILM’S MASSIVE NEW SECTION...

OOOOHH!
DiCaprio batters Damon in The Departed!
Tom Cruise goes stunt-crazy in Mission: Impossible 3!
We reveal The Da Vinci Code’s secrets!
Mickey Rourke gets nasty in Stormbreaker!
Soderbergh means war with Che! Jack Black strips off for Nacho Libre!

AAAAAHHH!
Exclusive on-set reports from David Fincher’s new killer-thriller Zodiac and Brett Ratner’s super-sequel X-Men 3!

HMMMMMMM! Why is Jennifer Aniston breaking up with Vince Vaughn?
What’s Brad doing in Babel?
What are the Wachowski Brothers hiding from you?
How are Pixar going to shake up Disney?
Why isn’t Steve Martin wearing trousers?
What are Kevin Smith’s favourite movies?
How big is Felicity Huffman’s penis?

FEATURES:

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST
The original Pirates was based on a theme park ride yet somehow became one of the biggest blockbusters of all time. Total Film takes a world-exclusive first look at the sequel that’s going to steal the summer...

V FOR VENDETTA
Bombs. Terrorism. Fear. Panic. The Wachowski Brothers picked one helluva year to make a movie about a masked vigilante who blows up London. And Total Film was with them right from the beginning...

63 WAYS TO IMPROVE THE MOVIES
Are you listening, Hollywood? We want comfier chairs at the cinema! PT Anderson to get more dosh! Martin Scorsese to nab an Oscar! No more Sting songs at the Oscars! And more nudity! Not Sting, though.

ROSARIO DAWSON
The Sin City star shakes her booty in this month’s rock musical Rent. As she says herself, she’s not a shy girl. “I’m taking advantage of the fact that I’m 26 and look the way I do...”

SUNDANCE
Our very own Jamie Graham froze his ’nads off to bring you this report from the Sundance Film Festival. We stayed in the office and seethed with jealousy, but at least we were toasty.

BASIC INSTINCT 2
We’ve been keeping fingers (and legs) crossed that this sequel to Shazza’s ice-pick flick would make it to our screens. And here it is: set in Blighty and starring top-dogger Stan Collymore!

THE NEW BLOOD
Horror movies are getting scarier. Total Film talks to Hostel’s Eli Roth, Wolf Creek’s Greg McLean, The Hills Have Eyes’ Alexandre Aja and more new-wave horrormeisters about the genre’s new gory groove...

LARS VON TRIER
“Lauren Bacall was not sure what was happening,” says the Danish director, “but she was very happy with what happened.” Von Trier tackles slavery, actor walk-outs and dead donkeys in Manderlay...

LOUNGE:

PERSONAL LIVES? WHAT ARE THEY? WE SPEND EVERY MINUTE WATCHING THINGS SO WE CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THEM. IT’S BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU...

NEW The latest DVD reviews including Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Serenity, Into The Blue, Lord Of War and The Constant Gardener.
ARCHIVE We take a look at sexy Sheffield to celebrate The Full Monty DVD, tangle with Japan’s naughtiest, biggest monster, Godzilla (Gojira to purists) and investigate odd uses for chainsaws and unusual adjectives in Heathers. You’ll learn something, you will. It’ll be very!
TV Deadwood, King Of The Hill, This Life, The Dead Zone and the Golden Globe-winning House.
STUFF Videogames, books, soundtracks, hardware... For us to know and you to read about.

ALSO SHOWING:

THE BEST OF THE REST...

LETTERS Two pages we don’t have to write ourselves!
ALSO RELEASED These missed our deadline. Bugger.
SUBSCRIBE Total Film sent to your door every month.
UP FOR GRABS Competition time, you lucky people.
THE TOTAL FILM QUIZ Have fun and hurt your brain.
THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT The great ape gets his hairy arse kicked by our potted guide to King Kong.