SCREEN:

29 NEW FILMS REVIEWED AND RATED IN THIS ISSUE, INCLUDING:
United 93, Thank You For Smoking, Slither, Mission: Impossible III, 36, Hard Candy, The King, Wah-Wah and Silent Hill,

BUZZ:

EXCLUSIVE PICTURES! INSIDER PREVIEWS! HOT MOVIE NEWS! KNEEL AND BE THANKFUL FOR TOTAL FILM'S MASSIVE FRONT SECTION...

STUNNING EXCLUSIVES!
New Pirates pics! The first word on Cars! On set with The Fountain! And nekkid Vikings!

THE RISE OF THE KIDDIES!
The Buzz child-star power list! Plus an ace new pic from Stormbreaker, the mini-Bond that’s guaranteed to get its star, Alex Pettyfer, more action by the time he’s 17 than the rest of us had by the time we hit 30. Combined.

EVEN MORE NORTON!
Congratulations to our Eddie, who here makes his 8,000th appearance in this magazine in just three months!

FEATURES:

SUPERMAN RETURNS
Hugh Jackman “adored” last month’s cover. Word on the street is that Brandon Routh quite likes this one but is concerned over its “wilful disregard of basic magazine grammar.”

OMEN 666
At least that was its name when the magazine’s cover went to print...
Has Liev “Get me in Private Eye!” Schreiber being all luvvie about “snowflakes”. Should be on page 66, really...

POSEIDON
Wolfgang Petersen continues his obsession with water. Hollywood continues its obsession with epic disasters. The News Editor continues his obsession with “that girl from the PC gaming magazine”.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
Which is what you should say to our illustrious Editor, if ever you run into him. Essentially, he single-handedly keeps the NHS afloat. That’s if it still is. We haven’t checked recently.

SECUESTRO EXPRESS
When Jonathan Jakubowicz had a gun held to his bonce, he didn’t whimper away. Nope. He pulled himself together like a Real Man and wrote Secuestro Express about it. Brave folk, these Venezuelans.

UNITED 93
Don’t do a Blunkett by criticising controversial art without seeing it. At least watch this frankly inspired film before damning it as “too soon”. We chat to director Paul Greengrass about the year’s bravest movie...

ACTION HEROES
In 1991, a man called Sly, an Austrian bodybuilder and a balding badass opened Planet Hollywood. Now, 15 years on, it just looks like they’ve been eating there three times a day. What happened?

TAKING THE MYTH
Find your falsehoods in the papers and your truisms in the movies, right? Sort of. Still, some films fib (shock!). After sifting the bullshit from ‘biopics’, we exclusively reveal that the plot of Pocahontas is a honk of toss.

DONALD SUTHERLAND
The Dirty Dozen Special Edition’s out in June (see next month’s Lounge), so we chatted to the legendary Don about baring his arse, falling out with Joel Schumacher and that sex scene with Julie Christie.

LOUNGE:

THE BEST, MOST EXTENSIVE, EXHAUSTIVE DVD, BOOKS, GAMES AND, ON OCCASION, PROMOTIONAL FIGURINES SECTION IN THE WESTERN WORLD...

NEW
Big guns: Munich, Brokeback Mountain, North Country, Memoirs Of A Geisha... Small, perfectly formed snappy-things: Shopgirl, Chicken Little, Aeon Flux, Breakfast On Pluto... And, so you don’t have to, we pitch frumpy Charlize vs PVC Charlize.

ARCHIVE
Making of La Haine, plus reviews of The Poseidon Adventure, Mission: Impossible and many more, a Lounge Loves on Theatre Of Blood and some poor sod gets to watch five different The Fly films.

TV
Life On Mars with John Simm on white dog shit and Lucozade, plus Sharpe. And Jack Osbourne.

STUFF
Killer film book and footie bandwagon leap.

ALSO SHOWING:

THE BEST OF THE REST...

LETTERS Your brains speak, ours respectfully reply.
QUIZ All-new puzzles that are growing on some people, not others. Still, be good, and you could win a TV...
ALSO RELEASED Couldn’t see ’em in time. Soz.
SUBSCRIBE How to have TF sent to your house.
THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT V For Vendetta gets it...