SCREEN

Films. Lots of films. Read what we think of the latest releases...

• The All Together
• Black Gold
• Black Snake Moan
• Blue Blood
• The Bothersome Man
• The City Of Violence
• Conversations With Other Women
• Flyboys
• Fracture
• Franklin And The Turtle
• Lake Treasure
• Grindhouse
• Jindabyne
• Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten
• Longing
• Magicians
• Not Here To Be Loved
• Paradise Lost
• The Reaping
• Spider-Man 3
• Ten Canoes
• The Tiger’s Tale
• 28 Weeks Later
• Water

BUZZ

The best monthly movie preview section in the world! With some immensely tortuous wordplay as an introduction!

DIE!
Hard 4.0, that is. Bruce Willis is back and he’s sporting a fetching green pullover. My, how he’s aged.

MARY!
Elizabeth Winstead that is, Hollywood’s Most Wanted catching eyes in Grindhouse, Die Hard 4.0 and a lovely polka dot ‘dress’...

FANTASTIC!
Four 2 that is, as Buzz has a daft idea about superheroes and pays a bloke to draw them.

DON’T!
Go back to the water, that is, as a new, bigger and far more scary Jaws gets prepped for cinemas. In a few years. Perhaps. Maybe.

FEATURES

PIRATES 3
Screenwriter Terry Rossio and screen actor Johnny Depp (you may have heard of him) talk us through the three-quel to rule ’em all. They know stuff.

KEIRA & ORLANDO
Blighty’s bright young things sit in a room and chat to Total Film. A lot. About all sorts of interesting things. And look reaaaaaally good doing it.

TRANSFORMERS
We meet the human stars: Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf.

HOSTEL: PART II
Nov 2006: Total Film visits the Prague set. May 2007: the scars won’t heal.

NATALIE PORTMAN
Chatty Natty bangs on about torture. Maybe she wants to be in Hostel III...

GRINDHOUSE
QT and RR hook up to furiously shoot the shit about their grubby opus.

WALLPAPER
Live in a shit-hole with plaster falling out of the walls? Then call the landlord. Or... cover over those nasty holes with our spanking new posters (sorry, ‘wallpaper’). This month we’ve gone Tarantino crazy, alright?

CAMERON DIAZ
She’s Princess Fiona in Shrek The Third and she’s also the Total Film Interview. In between sunny smiles and girly giggles, she actually answers some serious, searching, insightful questions. And then she giggles some more.

LOUNGE

So called because most people put their TV there so it’s where they watch DVDs.

NEW
Rocky comes out swinging, Dreamgirls crooning and The Fountain gushing. Smokin’ Aces, unfortunately, is a bit iffy.

ARCHIVE
Herzog, Hawks, Wayne, Sayles, Raimi, Hitchcock... so many giants of cinema, plus Jerry Paris, the man responsible for Police Academy 2.

LOVES
Everyone loves Back To The Future, so we champion Michael J Fox’s ‘other’ movie from 1985, Teen Wolf. Trust us, it’s the dog’s danglies.

LEGENDS
Quentin Tarantino. Say no more.

STUFF
Loads of TV, books, games and shit.

ALSO SHOWING

The best of the rest...

LETTERS
The postbag bulged, we answered.

ALSO RELEASED...
but no blighter screened ’em.

THE TOTAL FILM QUIZ
No cheating allowed.

UP FOR GRABS
Win lots of free stuff.

SUBSCRIBE
Never leave the house, sit on your arse.

THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT
Lots of muscular men, loads of oil, even more CG and waaay too much slo-mo. Yep, we flex our pecs and go into battle with 300. There was only ever gonna be one winner.