Flashers, Prejudice-haters and "Frog Hair": just another day in Hollywood

Bored? Depressed? Read this and be thankful you don’t work in Tinseltown

OK, so we can all be a little kooky but sometimes it only takes a quick glance behind the plush curtain of stardom to realise that when it comes to weird, Hollywood does it best. Here’s what’s flicked our madometer this week…

Sketchy details last week over the dismissal of a Desperate Housewives cast member have now been fleshed out. It seems that Page Kennedy, who played a fugitive called Caleb in Season 2, was booted off of Wisteria Lane because of differences over wardrobe. The New York Post quoted a source saying, “Kennedy may have had a problem with flashing people on the set.” Kennedy can also be seen, fully clothed we might add, in macho cop caper SWAT.

Jane Austen academics are considering cancelling the screening of the Keira Knightley version of Pride & Prejudice at their annual convention. “The film is full of sexual imagery which is totally inappropriate to Austen's novel,” says Joan Klingel Ray, President for the North America Jane Austen Society. Apparently Knightley’s posture is terrible and Matthew MacFadyen’s looks ain’t up to much either. However, the focus of Klingel Ray’s wrath was one of the Brit’s co-stars: “In one scene, a wild boar, which I assume is supposed to represent Darcy, wobbles through the farm with its sexual equipment on show.” Helmer Joe Wright gave the following, considered response to his US critics: “They can go jump in a lake.”

Lastly, Joaquin Phoenix has decided to stop joking with journalists because they just can’t grasp his rapier wit. The Walk The Line star is unhappy at being branded an eccentric after an incident in a recent interview. Over to you, Joaquin: “I had a fly in my hair. I was brushing it away. Someone asked me what was wrong and I said something like, ‘I have a frog on my head,’ joking. Then I read that I said I had a frog in my hair. What am I supposed to do?”

How are we going to survive without humour like that, eh?

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