Married bliss doesn't mean Ashton Kutcher can escape his assassin past...

A smirking Ashton Kutcher and a shrieking Katherine Heigl cancel each other out in this tiresome action comedy, a laugh-free zone from Legally Blonde director Robert Luketic.

The asinine pitch has Kutcher’s assassin swap a life of international espionage for suburban wedded bliss with Heigl, only to find their neighbours lining up to claim the bounty on his head.

What follows is so loud, frantic and nonsensically plotted it makes Luketic and Heigl’s The Ugly Truth look like His Girl Friday.

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