Reviews

2012

3

Armageddon used to this…

No landmark is safe in Roland Emmerich’s latest disaster porno, the Independence Day man picking up where The Day After Tomorrow left off with a two-and-a-half hour deluge of global cataclysm that has everything from the Washington Monument to St Peter’s Basilica crumble into dust. California’s first to go, an earthquake sending Los Angeles tumbling into the San Andreas fault; not long afterwards, a volcano turns Yellowstone into a lake of lava. Soon Hawaii’s up in smoke, Asia’s underwater and the London Olympics are being suspended. In the words of John Cusack’s reluctant hero, “the whole goddamn world is going to shit!”

It’s not aliens or Mother Nature that are to blame this time, though, but an ancient Mayan calendar that gives mankind an end date three years from hence. That’s all the excuse that Emmerich and fellow writer Harald Kloser need for their Doomsday scenario, which sees Cusack and his family flee to China in the hope of blagging seats on the gigantic arks that government boffin Chiwetel Ejiofor has been constructing in the Himalayas. This he does with the aid of a limousine, a camper van and a Russian cargo plane, risibly inappropriate vehicles that nonetheless manage to outpace the calamities that follow him everywhere he goes.

2012 is fine when buildings are tumbling, tidal waves are crashing and the White House is being totalled by an up-ended aircraft carrier. It’s in the downtime that the film suffers, mostly due to monotonously similar interludes involving tearful farewells delivered over miraculously still-functioning cell-phones. Cusack’s remarkable capacity to always be in the right/wrong place at the right/wrong time also stretches credulity, while a subplot about two ageing crooners on a Poseidon-style ocean liner is as tedious as it is pointless. For all we care about George Segal and his friend, they might as well be called Collateral and Damage.

Verdict:

Had Emmerich whittled down his overstocked cast and downsized the soap opera, this really would have been a case of Apocalypse Wow. If you’ve an appetite for destruction, though, it’ll still send you home with a smile on your face.

Film Details

User Reviews

    • Taraw

      Nov 14th 2009, 1:11

      4

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    • Taraw

      Nov 14th 2009, 1:13

      5

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    • thedazzler73

      Nov 15th 2009, 21:01

      1

      I am staggered this movie got three stars. £ or 4 decent effects moments are all it has to offer. The rest is pure dross from start to finish. Only Cusack is slight saving grace but everyone else surely cant look themselves in mirror. Woeful hammy acting and so many scenes cheeseier that a Dairylea factory. It is laugh out loud bad in so many places that it is easy my worst film of the year so far. Awful awful.

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    • mildbook

      Nov 16th 2009, 5:23

      5

      It is excellent movie and just watched at freemovieland.info and you watch all LATEST MOVIES THERE.

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    • euanmcgrath

      Nov 16th 2009, 14:04

      3

      I'd give this 3.5 stars if i could... But it's a solid 3 for sure. If you are watching 2012 then you know you are there to see a BIG CRAZY DISASTER MOVIE.. Yes, it's got a silly story, characters, script.. BUT the set pieces are amazing.! And that's what you're buying your ticket for. Script ** Effects ***** Film ***

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    • joeymac

      Nov 16th 2009, 22:46

      3

      Really great fun! A disaster movie in every sense of the word. The direction was disastrous, as was the dialogue. But if you can switch off from the ridiculous script, you'll enjoy a terrific ride. Do not wait to see this on DVD. It will be s**t.

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    • vanillasky

      Nov 18th 2009, 16:22

      2

      Went and seen this and it is quite bad. I think Emmerich doesn't read or watch documentaries because 2012 is when the world will cease to exist as we know it and not even stupid over the top arks can beat it. John Cusacks kid is called Noah, are these the writers from Eastenders? The effects are good but they get boring after a while. Thandie Newton character is pointless so is the two on the boat and the two fat russian kids - who cares what about them. I wish I was able to fly a plane like Gordon after 2 lessons. Overall - bad film which even Woody Harrelson can't save with his over the top performance.

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    • Vogue

      Nov 20th 2009, 13:25

      2

      20% entertaining special effects, 80% cheese, still what did I expect from a blockbuster diaster movie about the end of the word. Wish they would make them 95% entertaining special effects with 5% subtle undertones of stories of humanity but then that is asking too much....

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    • mikey2127

      Nov 20th 2009, 20:10

      The special effects were awesome, sadly the rest of the film came a poor second, poor characters, poor lines, i am close to saying this was worse than the day after tomorrow but they are pretty much equal. if i was you i would watch the towering inferno, you would get more satisfaction

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    • mclaughlinj

      Nov 25th 2009, 23:55

      5

      This is an incredibly stupid film. What do you expect? Its Rolond Emmerich. Enjoy the simple pleasure of watching nearly everyone on earth die, but be safe in the knowledge that the dog will survive. Don't think too much and you might find you're watching the best film ever.

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    • Agostinho

      Nov 30th 2009, 5:42

      3

      i expected better! different! in a lot of scenes u can see its only special effects n i hate when that happens! i think the TF review its my own opinion too! 3/5

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    • RaveyDaveyGravy

      Apr 13th 2010, 16:38

      2

      rubbish, but with some fun effects http://lastnightisaw.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/2012/

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    • NMM1310

      Apr 26th 2010, 18:23

      2

      haveing been a fan of roland emmerich,s other work (indepence day, godzilla and the day after tomorrow) I hoped for good things from this movie, unfortunately this movie despite haveing good special effects it lacks story and has poor acting, even if it has a good cast includeing john cusack, danny glover, woody harrelson and thandie newton it fails to impress and be as good as roland,s other work. I give it 2 stars for having good special effects but haveing a dull and unbeliveable storyline

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