Reviews

Keith Lemon: The Film

1

Bang messy...

Leigh Francis, one of the shrewdest comics of the noughties (man with big chin pisses pants = career), has made the perilous walk from terrestrial TV to cinema.

It’s a move that crushes him just like it crushed Dad’s Army, Steptoe, On The Buses and many better British comedies, and makes you realise just what a fluke The Inbetweeners Movie was.

Opening with Francis eating mash in his pants and farting, and then telling knob jokes to Mel C, it’s one giant car crash, with his nitwit character Keith shot to fame after a break on the alarmingly plausible Hoff Hour Show.

The slimy blonde quizmaster moves from rags to riches and Laura Aikman to Kelly Brook, who here seems determined to bury her career like it’s someone she’s just run over.

The sight of her deep-throating a sausage while Vernon Kay watches lustily is just one of The Film’s classier moments, the rest of which is built around D-list cameos like a future Brass Eye holding pen.

Even the Mr Skin moments are unwatchable, and the funniest moment in the whole thing comes from a bus sign (“T’LEEDS”). Six letters and an apostrophe. Save yourself the ticket.

Film Details

User Reviews

    • ChrisWootton

      Aug 28th 2012, 12:05

      Nice you post the review after it came out for the weekend.

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    • thedanieljson

      Aug 28th 2012, 12:46

      @ChrisWoottton to be fair, if you need to read a review to know whether this is going to be good or not, you probably aren't the sort of person who'd ever go see the film... Plus it wasn't screened to critics (I wonder why).

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    • sammerry

      Aug 28th 2012, 13:45

      @ChrisWootton Given it's been a Bank Holiday coupled with the fact that there have been no advance screenings for this for critics (precisely to try and avoid the vast amount of negative press that is now sweeping the web), I think it's a fairly speedy review time. Plus, I'm in agreement with thedanieljson - do you really need a review to tell you what you will and won't like?

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    • ChrisWootton

      Aug 28th 2012, 14:38

      Ha, tis true.. I was just curious considering how much space in the mag this was given. Think I'm having a cynical Tuesday is all.

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    • 69ragnorak

      Aug 28th 2012, 19:17

      Was there ever any doubt that this was gonna be a one star film?

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    • Heisenberg

      Aug 28th 2012, 19:53

      I'm surprised it got a star. I thought for this they would of created a new "Minus" category.

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    • marc96

      Aug 28th 2012, 21:31

      i cant believe what i watched, luckily my cinema ticket was free but i still feel like i paid.... this film was sooo c**p!!! (when i say c**p i mean comes close to cabin fever 2 kind of c**p)

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    • Hadouken76

      Aug 29th 2012, 0:20

      Whose idea was it to build an entire MOVIE around someone who is unable to sustain enough wit and humour for TEN MINUTES, let alone an hour and a half? What next? Go Compare : The movie? Pity the film crew who had to endure unfunny gags and the whims of B-list has-beens.

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    • thedanieljson

      Aug 29th 2012, 1:18

      Also, may I just say that this review made me laugh out loud a dozen times, bravo.

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    • Heisenberg

      Aug 29th 2012, 12:59

      And as if any more proof were needed of what f*****g tw@t Alex Zane is, he somehow gave this 2 stars.

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    • ChrisWootton

      Aug 29th 2012, 13:41

      Heisenberg.. just finished season 2.. Totally hooked now

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    • Heisenberg

      Aug 29th 2012, 14:44

      @Chris, awesome, spread the word, and wait till you see season 4...

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    • ChrisWootton

      Aug 29th 2012, 15:25

      Can't wait mate, just trying to locate season 3.. I'm already having withdrawal symptoms. Can't believe I haven't seen it til now. Definitely up there with the Sopranos and Walking Dead as my top shows.

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    • ohdearohdear

      Aug 31st 2012, 7:03

      Nice to see you helped suck Leigh Francis's big 'ol scaley p****r with your massive photospread a few issues back. You knew it was going to be s**te, we knew it was going to be s**te...yet you turned Total Film into Heat magazine. I hope they paid you more than the readership you've permanently lost. Next you'll have someone like say, Fearne Cotton or Alex Zane as a regular columnist.

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    • Indianabones

      Sep 1st 2012, 10:12

      @Heisenberg and Chriswootton....just curious what series are you both talking about?

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    • Heisenberg

      Sep 1st 2012, 11:31

      @Bones, Breaking Bad. Wont say too much, High School chemistry discovers he has lung cancer with not long to live, becomes a meth cook with a former student to make as much money as possible before he dies...........leads into one of the best tv shows i have ever seen.

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    • Indianabones

      Sep 4th 2012, 5:48

      Ah, Watched the first series....wasn't to sure about it...... maybe I'll give season 2 a go. Cheers

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    • ChrisWootton

      Sep 4th 2012, 13:12

      Bones, halfway through season 3. Stick with it as it gets bigger in every way.

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    • matthewbrady

      Apr 16th 2014, 3:13

      1

      This movie was not bang tidy is was bang awful. This movie is worst er then piranha 3-DD I mean the jokes are not funny at all and they is way to many people in this movie.

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