Machete Kills


The no-text Mex strikes again

Robert Rodriguez Mexploitation murder-thon returns for a second outing, after the - let's face it, amigos - less-than-stellar 2010 original.

Beginning with a trailer for Machete Kills Again… In Space - Lady Gaga and Mel Gibson included - we're back in familiar territory: the taco-hued Southern badlands, where Machete (Danny Trejo) and Sartana (Jessica Alba) are fighting the cartels, as our hero is tasked with taking down Mexican revolutionary Mendez (Demian Bichir) by Charlie Sheen's foul-mouthed US president.

Initially fun, Machete Kills has weighty conceptual problems it never solves. Glaring like an outraged sultana, Machete repeatedly monotones that he "don't text" or "tweet". In fact, he don't do that much - except kill. There are three scenes that make messy use of rotor/propeller blades, and a (literal) blind shoot-out, as in Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

It's also hard to remember a film where so many actresses are murdered or degraded quite so casually. Boob guns and vagina punches proliferate; Machete's handler (Amber Heard) is a unscrupulous beauty queen; almost everyone else is a prostitute. It's exploitation, of course, but it's meant to be knowing, next-level, daring. Or at least funny.

Even the good ideas remain unformed - most notably a chameleonic assassin, played by, well, everyone. Worse still, the action's flat, Gibson's Star Wars-obsessed psycho turn embarrassing, the CGI dreadful, and the ending the most half-arsed since The Devil Inside.


Like a meal made entirely of chillies, Machete Mk II is spicy to start with, then unpleasant, then numbing - before it all starts to repeat.

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Film Details

User Reviews

    • apo1978

      Oct 8th 2013, 12:30

      Meh, whatevs...still gonna go see this for sh*ts n' giggles. Gotta love Michelle Rodriguez's cleavage too.

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    • Ali1748

      Oct 8th 2013, 12:51

      When was the last time Rodriguez made a good movie? Wow it was Planet Terror back in 2007.

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    • RaveyDaveyGravy

      Oct 8th 2013, 14:48

      Planet Terror was ladies pants

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    • smellyhands

      Oct 8th 2013, 15:59

      Well the first one was s**t so oh well.

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      Oct 11th 2013, 11:29

      i aint hating but this type of movies should go straight to dvd. i was a big rodriguez fan until MACHETE!

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    • MustachedHippo

      Oct 11th 2013, 22:24

      When will reviewers remember how to have fun with a movie again? This is an exploitation movie. It's stupid, but in a good way. It is made purely for entertainment. You have to go in the movie thinking what kind of movie it is and watch it from that point of view. Machete Kills probably lacks a lot of good things that go in a movie, but it has good things. It's entirely for fun. It is a movie not to be taken seriously. If you see it from that point of view then you will see how machete kills was meant to be viewed.

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    • FBKTudor

      Oct 14th 2013, 11:46


      I'd have given the film 3 stars. It was highly entertaining. It had its tongue in its cheek the whole way through. It was over the top gore, over the top violence, and straight forward plotting. It was what you got from the movies it is a pastiche of. Mel Gibson was fun in it too. I don't like how he's been off screen, but on screen he is still a great presence. A shame the film was a set up to a (probably pretend) sequel, but if Machete Kills Again In Space ever gets made, I'd be sure to check it out. If you've seen any number of violent actioners of the Grindhouse era, you'll know what a good send-up this film was. (Not perfect, but good, hence 3 stars from me).

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    • apo1978

      Oct 17th 2013, 12:52


      I can understand the bad reviews this movie got – yes it is a “bad” movie – but that precisely the point! You could argue that one Machete film was enough to tell the “joke” (i.e cheap-looking exploitation movie harking back to the 70 & 80’s) but my constant smile throughout tells all you need to know. Although I do wish Robert Rodriguez would hurry up with Sin City 2 already. That said, bring on “Machete Kills Again…In Space” (that’s not a joke either!)

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