Jake West's directorial debut originally appeared in the Independents' Day section of Total Film Issue Four, and is the least likely cinema release we've seen all year. With a cast of varying talent (lead vamp Eileen Daly puts in a performance of gargantuan amateurism), the story makes lavish use of cheap locations (flat interiors, fields) and a few expensive ones (a big house) while it tells the tale of a 100-year-old vampire hit-woman.
Masses of sex, nudity and violence do keep you watching, although the twin handgun shootouts are shot in a fairly lack-lustre way. Mercifully, older actors Adamson and Warbeck are canny enough to realise the hopelessness of the situation, camping it up like ghoulish Widow Twankeys. If ever a flick demanded to be seen on the small screen, late at night, while intoxicated, it's this one.