Remember Me review - “I’ve had enough of this brooding introvert shit!” sighs the best friend of Robert Pattinson’s Remember Me antihero, a moody NYU student with a distant father (Pierce Brosnan), a neurotic little sis and a huge shoulder-chip over the beloved late brother who topped himself at the same age he is now.
Who better for Tyler to fall for, then, than Ally (Emilie de Ravin), a classmate with daddy issues of her own thanks to an overly protective cop-pop (Chris Cooper) still grieving for the wife she saw gunned down when she was a kid?
Chuck in a fatal illness and a hit theme tune and you’d have ‘Love Story 2010’. Yet Allen Coulter’s melodrama has a different destination in mind, one not-so-subtly telegraphed by some telling geographical details, a fleeting news report and a cinema trip to see a certain comedy sequel.
Admittedly, this does facilitate an emotional pay-off bound to have Rob’s Twilight fan club in floods. But it doesn’t justify the long, slow build-up, one so full of petulant outbursts and sullen sulks from the Brithunk du jour that non-worshippers will want to climb up on screen and slap him out of his stupor.
There’s no shame in being outshone by Cooper, an Academy Award winner able to play blue-collar, salt-of-the-earth types in his sleep. But to be acted off the screen by Brosnan – last seen as a hairy centaur in Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief – is a different proposition altogether.
It’s something that ominously suggests R-Pattz will have his work cut out turning his current stardom into a true lasting career. De Ravin fares rather better, showing real moxie in her flirtatious banter and a fiery temper when crossed.
Such attributes, alas, only serve to reinforce how ill-suited she is to Pattinson’s doleful Holden Caulfield wannabe. She’d be far better off with his wise-cracking mate (Tate Ellington).
A sleepy weepie with an 11th-hour reveal which is a trifling reward for enduring the soapy slusher that precedes it. Pattinson’s acolytes will ensure solid returns, though even they may not be able to deny his limitations sans fangs.