Step Up 3D review: All Moose (Adam G. Sevani, poor man’s Jesse Eisenberg) wants to do is dance. He wants to dance more than he wants to attend classes at NYU, own the newest product-placed Nike footwear, or notice the affections of equally awkward bezza Camille (Alyson Stoner).
A spontaneous street-dancing incident (who hasn’t been there?) leads him to a meeting with brooding malcontent Luke (Rick Malambri, poor man’s Channing Tatum) who happens to head up a ragtag crew of misfits and rebels all with one thing in common: their insatiable appetite to dance.
And they do. In fairness, they do it well, with choreography one of the saving graces in this mishmash of half-boiled characterisations, pumping bass choons and gaudy 3D antics.
There are moments of energetic charm here, but the script is so painfully poor, and the plot’s creaky turns so unintentionally comedic, that they’re all but lost in the noise.